


Holding on to My Heart

by hwrites



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: College!AU, Enemies to Lovers, English major Scott, F/M, Scott needs to redeem himself, it's tropetastic!, psychology/fashion design major Tessa, slooooooow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2020-01-25 16:33:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18578317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwrites/pseuds/hwrites
Summary: Tessa meets Scott, and she instantly hates him.At the end of the first week of classes, he’d watched as she dropped her psychology textbook into a puddle outside their apartment and didn’t even offer to pick it up for her. In fact, he stepped on it, soaking the book even more than it already had been, and Tessa had had to trudge back to the bookstore and buy another one.Then, Tessa finds out that Scott is her neighbor.What could possibly go wrong?





	1. chapter one

“This has been the longest week of my life,” Tessa laments into the phone as she’s leaving her last class on the second Friday of the fall semester, “I wish it was still summer.”

Her sister Jordan laughs on the other end of the line. “Tess, it’s only the end of the second week of class. I hate to tell you this, but you still have two more years of school, which means two more years of getting used to class after summer break. So, you better get used to it!”

“Thanks for the sisterly advice,” she grumbles, as she steps out of the building where her last class was. It’s August, so the sun is shining, although it’s currently being hidden by clouds. She can’t help but shiver when she passes through a bit of shade; the wind ruffles her hair, and a part of her wishes she had thought to bring a jacket.

“Hey, I’m just doing what I can to help,” Jordan responds brightly. “Why was this week so long?”

“Well, okay, you know my roommate, Jenny? She’s . . . interesting. Her boyfriend has been over every single night this week, and he doesn’t leave until midnight or so. It’s very irritating when I’m trying to study psych and I can hear them having sex in the other room.”

“Does she warn you, at least?”

“Jordan, if she warned me, I wouldn’t _be_ there.”

“Fair enough.”

“Anyway, so not only do they have sex, like, _a lot_ , they also fight all the time? I guess opposites can’t attract.”

“Why, are they complete opposites?” Jordan sounds genuinely curious.

Tessa shrugs, before she remembers that her sister can’t see her through the phone. “I think so. Jenny seems really sweet, if a little misguided. Lawrence, her boyfriend, on the other hand, is neither of those things. Not to judge, but I honestly don’t know why she’s dating him. He’s not the smartest, and he doesn’t treat her nicely at all. Last night, he set out a tub of ice cream to thaw, but then he forgot about it, so it melted all over our counter. Guess what, Jordan?”

She pauses for dramatic effect, and her sister doesn’t answer (not that she expects her to).

“He didn’t even clean it up! I came into the kitchen this morning to find Jenny scrubbing dried ice cream off the counter. We had to throw out, obviously, because ice cream is absolutely disgusting when it’s melted and refreezes.”

“Of course,” Jordan replies. “Tess, why don’t you just ask her about him? I’m sure there’s some sort of explanation as to why they’re dating.”

“There better be,” she grumbles, and then, despite the fact that the sun is shining, the clouds open up and it starts to rain. “Hey, sis, I’ll call you later. It just started to rain, and I’m not home yet.”

“Sounds good!” Jordan chirps before ending the call.

A few minutes later, Tessa can see her apartment building, but without an umbrella or a jacket, she’s very wet and very cold. 

Her bag is overflowing with textbooks and papers, but she doesn’t notice that it rips open and all the contents spill out until it’s too late.

She doesn’t notice the fact that her psychology textbook is in a puddle until someone has stepped on it, leaving a muddy footprint and the pages even more soaked than they had been originally.

Tessa looks up from where she’s bent down to pick up the book, and all she sees is a beige coat and dark hair, walking in the direction she’d just come from.

“Hey!” she calls, but the man who stepped on it doesn’t even turn around, doesn’t even apologize.

_Asshole_ , she thinks, as she scrambles to pick up all of her stuff. She throws the textbook in the dumpster before she even gets inside, making a mental note to go to the bookstore tomorrow to get a new one.

 

She opens the door to her apartment to see Jenny and her boyfriend, Lawrence, sitting on opposite ends of the couch, watching a movie.

“Hey,” Jenny greets in a bored tone when Tessa walks by the living room on her way to her room.

“Hi, Jenny; hey, Lawrence.”

If Tessa’s honest, she doesn’t think that she and Jenny are going to be particularly close. The girl that Tessa roomed with last year was going to be her roommate again, until that girl had decided last-minute that she was going to study abroad in Spain, leaving Tessa to scramble to find a roommate. Jenny was the only person to respond to her Facebook post, so the two of them agreed to live together more for convenience than anything else.

That being said, Jenny does seem like a really sweet person. She even looks it, too, with her platinum hair, and purple cat-eye glasses. Jenny is relatively short, which Tessa thinks is hilarious considering Lawrence is about a foot taller than his girlfriend.

“Yeah, I went to stay with my girlfriend,” he replies.

Tessa blinks slowly, confused. “Aren't you dating Jenny?”

“We’re in an _open relationship_ ,” Jenny emphasizes those last two words as if Tessa should know what that means, except she doesn’t look so happy about it.

“Only because _you_ didn’t want to break up,” Lawrence snaps, and suddenly she understands why they’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch.

She also wishes she’d never asked at all.

“Yeah, well, sorry that I love you!” comes the snippy reply, which makes Tessa slowly back out of their living room and down the hall, to her bedroom.

She drops her bag on her bed with a sigh, deciding that she should probably get started on for that psych exam she has on Monday, so that she isn’t super stressed come Sunday night. So, she sits down at her desk, and turns on her laptop.

It’s only when Tessa goes to pull her textbook out of her bag that she realizes that she doesn’t have it.

_Great, now I have to go buy the textbook now, instead of tomorrow. I bet it’s not going to rain tomorrow_.

She sighs, pushes back her chair and stands up. She makes sure to grab her jacket and an umbrella before she leaves.

It doesn’t take her long to buy the textbook, but once she does, she’s so cold from the rain that she can hardly feel her fingers. She runs them under the faucet, flexes them a few times after she does, and it’s only then, 45 minutes after she originally sat down at her desk, that she starts her homework.

 

The sky has been dark for hours when she finally sets down her pencil the next day.

A glance at the clock tells her that it’s well after one-thirty in the morning. Suddenly her eyelids feel heavy, and all she wants to do is climb in bed.

She hears music blaring from the apartment next door, and she blinks, wondering if she’s so tired that she’s in that weird stage where she’s half-asleep while half-dreaming.

_Not a dream_.

And then the music gets louder. Someone yells, but the music doesn’t stop.

Tessa brushes her teeth and changes into her pajamas. Still blaring.

The clock edges towards two o’clock, so she resolves that if the music hasn’t stopped by then, she’s going to go over there and tell her neighbor to please stop – 

_This is ridiculous_ , she thinks bitterly, as she swears she sees the shared wall between her room and the one next door shake.

The door to her room creaks open. Jenny, sans glasses, pokes her head in, squinting.

“Sorry to bother you, Tess, but that music is too loud. Do you think you could turn it down?”

“It’s not me,” she replies gently, jerking her thumb in the direction of where the music is loudest, “Next door.”

“Oh.” Her roommate frowns. “Well, I hope they turn it down soon.”

_Not likely_.

“Yeah, I hope so, too, Jenny,” she says instead. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“See you.”

Tessa glances at the clock. 2:30, it blinks back at her, as she realizes that she told herself she’d go talk to her neighbors when it got to be two and she still hasn’t gone over there.

She must’ve fallen asleep.

_Dammit_.

With a sigh, she stands from her bed, makes sure to grab her key so that she can get back into the apartment before she heads to the neighbors.

She knocks twice and waits a few minutes before realizing that whoever’s blasting that music has probably fallen asleep.

Just as she’s turning to leave, the door opens.

“Can I help you?” comes a male voice, and she turns back around.

“Yes, actually. Will you please turn that music down? I’m pretty sure the whole apartment can hear it.”

“It’s not me, it’s my roommate, Scott. Trust me,” he says tells her with a tired laugh, “I’ve been trying to get my roommate to stop playing it, too. Nothing has worked. In fact, maybe you should take this up with him?” 

Before Tessa can respond, he’s turned around. 

“Scott!” he calls, and the music only gets louder.

“I’m Andrew,” he tells her quickly before he gestures for her to come inside; she’s not surprised to find that it looks exactly like a mirrored version her apartment, if a little messier.

“Tessa,” she replies.

Andrew maneuvers his way over to the second bedroom; the door is closed, but he knocks on it anyway. “Scott, buddy, open the door.”

The door opens to reveal a tall guy with dark, tousled hair and astonishing brown eyes.

He looks very, very familiar, and whatever sleepiness she felt before evaporates when their eyes me.

“Oh,” she says, upon seeing him, “it’s _you_.”

He – Scott – glowers at her, jaw clenched. “What are you doing in my apartment?” 

“You two know each other?” Andrew asks. 

“Unfortunately,” Tessa replies, her steely gaze not leaving Scott’s. “He stepped on my soaking-wet Psychology textbook and didn’t even apologize. I had to go buy a new one.” 

“Hey, it’s not my fault that you dropped it in a puddle that I happened step in!” 

“Dude, seriously?” Andrew questions, probably more to draw attention to the fact that he’s losing sleep over this than to agree with someone he just met.

“Wow,” she says after a moment, “you’re even more immature than I thought. Who likes stepping in every puddle they see? Are you 12, _Scott_?” 

“I’m 21, actually, and last time I checked, it’s not very nice to break into someone’s apartment at two in the morning.” 

“I was invited in here, thank you very much! Now, will you please turn down the music? It’s giving everyone in this building a headache.” 

He squints at her as if trying to figure out if she’s lying or not. “You’re lying.” 

“No, I’m not.” 

“Yes, you are.” 

“No, now turn it off, please.” 

Scott’s quiet for a moment, scratches his head as if he’s thinking really hard about what his answer is going to be. 

“No,” he says, slowly. “Do you know what that means?” 

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I do!” Tessa yells. 

He scoffs, running a hand through his hand. “Wow, deep.”

“I’m serious!”

“Are you? I can’t tell.”

She sighs sharply, crossing her arms over her chest, and chooses to ignore that comment. “Do you have to be playing music so loudly at 2:30 in the morning?”

“It’s a Saturday night, the night is still young.”

“Not to me, nor most of Canada. My roommate even asked if I could turn the music down.”

“Maybe your roommate should learn to sleep better.”

“Guys,” Andrew says nervously before Tessa can answer Scott, as the music blares behind the two of them. “Someone is definitely going to file a noise complaint if you don’t stop!”  
Tessa sets her hands on her hips, determined. “I’ll leave when Scott turns down his music.”

“Not going to happen, princess,” Scott replies, leaning against the doorway to his room as he grins slyly.

“Don’t call me that!” 

“I don’t know your name, so–” 

“Let’s keep it that way,” she grumbles. 

“–do you want me to call you ‘babe?’ ‘Sweetheart?’ Something . . . dirty? Some girls are into that, you know. With me.” 

He winks at her. 

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Tessa counters.

“Oh, God, here we go,” Andrew mumbles, rubbing at his temples with his index fingers. Neither of them answers him.

Scott only laughs. “I don’t think I am.” 

“Of course you don’t.” 

He laughs louder, and she groans. 

“I’ll file a noise complaint _myself_ if you don’t turn this music down right now!” Tessa snaps, except for the fact that she probably won’t.

Tessa doesn’t say that, and she’s relieved when this gets Scott to turn off the music. 

Tessa smiles, satisfied. “Thanks. Hopefully we never have to see each other again.” 

“Good, because you’re infuriating,” he mumbles, closing his bedroom door. 

Andrew, who Tessa had forgotten is here, lets out a sigh so loud she’s surprised it doesn’t make Scott turn on his music again, and it’s then that she sees how exhausted he looks. Her stomach fills with guilt. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, “that I came over here and fought with your roommate at two in the morning. We don’t like each other, as you can probably see.” 

Andrew yawns, his mouth settling into a smile. “Really? It wasn’t obvious at all.” 

The two of them laugh, and Tessa decides that it’s probably best if she leaves; it’s late, after all, and not only is she tired, but she’s sure that Andrew is, too. 

“Well, I should probably get going. I have an exam in psychology on Monday that I have to study for. Sorry for bothering you so late.” 

“No, don’t apologize, I’m really glad you did. You got Scott to turn the music off, which I never thought he would do. Goodnight.” 

The door closes behind her, and she heads off to sleep.

*

The next week, Andrew invites her over for a movie night he’s having that Saturday, and Tessa’s hesitant to agree to go.

“I don’t know,” she tells him from where she’s leaning against the door to her apartment. It’s Tuesday, and he’d come over about an hour after she got home from class. “Is Scott going to be there? No offense, but I don’t want a repeat of Saturday.”

Andrew waves his hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about Scott. He’s going home for the weekend, so he won’t be around. You’ll get to meet my girlfriend, Kaitlyn. I think the two of you would really get along.”

“Okay,” she agrees, “I’ll be there.”

Scott, as it turns out, does not go home for the weekend, but Tessa doesn’t say anything; Jenny and Lawrence have been fighting ever since she got home, and they still haven’t stopped. If she listens hard enough, she can hear the sound of their yelling in the next apartment over the sound of the movie.

Scott laughs too loudly at the jokes in the movie, which gives Tessa a headache.

“I’m not feeling well,” she tells the group, “so I think I’m going to head home.”

Kaitlyn, Andrew’s girlfriend who she just met tonight, smiles sadly at her. “Aw, it’s just getting to the good part! Don’t go!”

“Yeah, don’t go, Tessa!” Scott mocks in a high-pitched voice. 

Kaitlyn lobs a handful of popcorn in his direction, and he opens his mouth and tries to catch it as it soars through the air and lands all around him. 

“You don’t have to be such an asshole, you know,” Tessa remarks, directing it at him as she stands up. “I’ll see you guys later.”

Everyone wishes her various forms of goodnight, and thankfully Jenny and Lawrence have at least retreated to Jenny’s room to continue their yelling.

Tessa puts on a pair of headphones and plays music until she falls asleep.


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa goes over to Andrew's apartment to hang out with all of her friends, and hopes Scott isn't going to be there.
> 
> He is.

“Tessa!” a vaguely familiar voice calls as Tessa is walking to her class the next week. 

She’s forgotten to wear a jacket, and she’s kicking herself for taking an eight a.m. as she wishes that she was still asleep and because it’s cold outside.

Kaitlyn appears next to her, smiling like it’s not 7:50 on a Friday morning.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Andrew is having a small get-together at seven, you should come!”

Tessa knit her eyebrows together. “Tonight?”

“Yeah!”

She doesn’t even stop to think if Scott is going to be there; all she thinks about is the possibility to hang out with her friends. “Okay, yeah, I’ll be there.”

Which is how she finds herself at Andrew and Scott’s apartment that night, although she hasn’t seen Scott so she doesn’t think he’s here.

Tessa is talking animatedly with Andrew, and it’s only when she tilts her head back to laugh that she spots him, lying on the couch, scrolling through his phone.

“Tessa?” Andrew looks confused, and his gaze drifts over to where she’s spotted Scott. “Oh. I forgot that he was going to be here.”

“It’s fine,” she answers, tearing her eyes away from him and back to Andrew. “So, what’ve you been up to?”

“Kaitlyn and I are going to visit her parents next weekend, so that’ll be fun.”

“Oh, definitely! Have you met them before?”

He smiles faintly, like he’s remembering something. “Yeah. They’re such nice people, much like Kaitlyn herself.”

“How long have you two been dating?”

“It’ll be four years next week.”

Kaitlyn comes up to them then, wraps her arms around her boyfriend’s waist as she leans against his side. His arm naturally comes to rest against her back, and the two of them gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes for so long that Tessa feels like she’s witnessing a private moment.

Then her phone pings with a text.

She pulls it out of her pocket.

**Jenny | 7:29 p.m.**

**:)**

The smiley face had been the emoji the two of them set at the beginning of the year in case either of them needs the room to themselves.

“What?” Kaitlyn asks, and Tessa looks up to see her two friends staring at her.

“You just sighed really loud,” Andrew adds.

“My roommate just sexiled me and who knows how long she’ll need the apartment.”

“That’s rough,” he comments.

“Tell me about it.”

“Tell you about what?” Scott says from behind her.

She raises her eyebrows. “Nothing.”

“It has to be something.”

“Nothing that’s any of your business.”

He shrugs, looking thoughtful. “Okay.”

“That’s it?”

Now he raises his eyebrows. “What? Looking to start something, princess?”

“I thought I told you not to call me that. And no, as a matter of fact.”

“Because we could,” he continues on, pretending like he didn’t hear her. “If you’re into that. FWB, if you’d like.”

“FWB,” she repeats slowly, trying to work out the meaning.

“Friends with benefits,” Kaitlyn supplies.

“Oh. I’m good, thanks.”

She turns to Kaitlyn and Andrew, expecting Scott to leave and just . . . go somewhere else. 

Even though it’s his apartment.

Tessa just doesn’t want to talk to him.

“Well, I’m going to grab some pizza,” Andrew says, looking like he’d like to be anywhere but standing next to Tessa and Scott again. 

Visions of last week, when she went over their apartment because Scott was being too loud, are probably playing through his mind, and he’d like to not relive any of that.

Kaitlyn follows him, which means that Tessa is left alone.

“They’re cute,” Scott comments, and she hadn’t realized he was still standing next to her.

“Wow.”

“What?”

“You can say things other than insults. I’m impressed,” she says dryly.

He grins, and Tessa decides that she would like to leave before he replies with something dirty.

“Yeah,” is all he says.

“Right. Okay, cool. Good talk. I’m going to go now.”

“Bye, princess.”

She rolls her eyes and heads to the kitchen without another word.

 

It’s half an hour later, and Jenny still hasn’t texted her, saying that she can come back to their apartment. Everyone else has left, leaving only Kaitlyn, Andrew, and Scott (although he’s in his room. Tessa is thanking her lucky stars that she doesn’t have to deal with him).

“I’m heading out, but I had fun,” she starts, figuring she’ll just go down to the lobby and wait for Jenny to text her. “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Any time, Tess,” Andrew responds. “Oh and try not to think about Scott. He’s just messing with you.”

She nods. “Right. I’ll see you later, have a good night.”

Her phone dies right as the elevator doors open to the lobby, and her only phone charger is up in her apartment.

She’s been sitting on a couch in the lobby for about ten minutes when all of a sudden, Scott is there. 

He doesn’t see her, but when he sits down in the armchair across from where she’s sitting, she says, “Do you have to be everywhere that I am?” 

He looks up from where he’d put his head in his hands and scoffs. “I wouldn’t be here if your roommate knew how to quietly have sex.” 

Tessa throws up her hands. “I didn’t even think she still was, so I don’t know what to tell you about that. I’m not in the mood to talk right now, Scott.”

They sit in silence for several long seconds, time stretching on and on.

She feels awkward, and then irritated, because even though Scott isn’t bothering her by talking to her, he’s still bothering her because he’s, well, here, almost close enough for him to be in her personal space.

Tessa falls asleep on the couch in the lobby, wakes up with a sore neck and a granola bar perched on her lap. 

Thought you might want this, reads the attached note, except there’s not a name, which is creepy, honestly. 

She takes the granola bar up to her apartment, where Jenny has the decency to at least have her door closed, and throws it away. She doesn’t know who or where it’s from; it’s not like she’s going to eat it.

Jenny comes out of her room a few minutes later, as Tessa is making breakfast, eyes red and puffy, like she’s been crying, but Tessa doesn’t want to be the one to bring it up. 

She and Jenny aren’t the closest, but when Jenny practically falls onto the couch, sobbing loudly, Tessa brings a box of tissues over to her. 

“Is everything okay, Jen?” she asks gently, sitting on the edge of the couch. 

Jenny shakes her head. “Lawrence and I b-broke up. Well, m-more like h-he broke up with . . . m-me! I didn’t want to, Tessa. We’ve been together since our freshman year of high school. He said that we ‘wanted different things out of life,’ which I don’t see how that could be true! I thought he loved me. I love _him_.” 

Tessa doesn’t mention that it seemed to her like Jenny and Lawrence were only together just because neither of them wanted to do the breaking up; she just hands Jenny a tissue and pats her shoulder awkwardly. “I’m so sorry, Jenny. It just means that Lawrence isn’t the right person for–” She stops talking when Jenny only cries harder. 

There’s a knock on their door, so she goes to open it. 

It’s Andrew, and he looks nervous. 

“Hey,” he rushes out, “is everything okay over here? We heard crying, so I wanted to come check.” 

Tessa looks back at Jenny before she steps out into the hall, closes the door partially behind her. “Yeah, Jenny’s boyfriend broke up with her. She’s . . . not taking it well. Any break-up advice?” 

“Buy her lots of ice cream and watch her favorite movies. Look up inspirational quotes if you have to, anything to get her to not be sad anymore. It’s going take some time, and she may not stop crying for a few nights, but don’t worry. She’ll be okay eventually.” 

“Wow, you sure know a lot about how to deal with a break-up.” Andrew shrugs, and his cheeks tinge the slightest shade of pink. 

“Before we started dating, Kaitlyn’s ex-boyfriend broke up with her. We were best friends, so I helped her get through it, and, about a year later, we started dating.” 

Tessa raises her eyebrows. “Damn, usually getting out of the friend-zone has a waiting period of at least two years.” 

At this, Andrew laughs. “We’re going to trivia night at the diner across the street next week, you can come if you want to.” 

“If Scott’s going to be there, I don’t want to make it awkward.” 

Her neighbor rolls his eyes. “Hey, you’re not going to like everyone you meet, but you’re going to have to deal with them if you both have the same friends. Which, I hate to break it to you, Tessa, but you and Scott do.” 

“It wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t everywhere. At movie night, in the lobby last night.” 

Andrew gives her a questioning look. “Why were you in the lobby?” 

“Jenny and her boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, I guess, were having sex, so . . .” 

“Right, yeah. Scott told me about the granola bar.” 

Now she’s the confused one. “Granola bar? Wait, that was Scott? Are you sure we’re talking about the same Scott, Andrew?” 

“Tall, dark hair, dark eyes, annoys the shit out of you?” 

Tessa nods, suddenly not able to think of anything to say, and Andrew smiles. 

“Take care of Jenny, okay? And think about movie night, it’ll be fun.”

With that, he walks back down the hall and into his own apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone, I'm really sorry that's it's been so long since my last update, but I'm back now! 
> 
> How are you doing today?
> 
> Leave a comment if you'd like to!


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott begin to see eye-to-eye.

A few weeks later, the insistent beeping of an alarm clock wakes Tessa up.

She groans and reaches over to turn it off, but her arm misses the alarm entirely and she somehow winds up on the floor, the beeping growing louder with each passing second.

Finally, she gets up off the floor and turns it off, flopping back onto her bed. 

What feels like seconds later, she wakes up again after a strange dream that she can’t remember now.

Rubbing her hands over her eyes to wake herself up, Tessa sees the clock in the corner of her vision, now saying a time entirely different than it did earlier (not to mention it’s now much later).

_Shit._

Normally, Tessa likes to give herself an hour before class to get ready and have breakfast, but she’s slept through that hour and is ten minutes late to her first class, Psychology II.

She’s never been more than a minute late to a class, so she feels bad that she’s already so late and is going to be more so since she hasn’t even gotten ready yet.

When she walks into the lecture hall twenty minutes later (it’s a ten-minute walk plus she took ten minutes to get ready due to the fact that she wasn’t fully awake; she had to splash water on her face to actually wake herself up), the first row, which she normally sits in, is full. In fact, the first four rows are full, and how has she never noticed that before?

She takes a seat after muttering a quick sorry to the professor and begins taking notes.

Until she realizes that she has no idea what the professor is talking about, since she missed the first half-hour of class.

“Excuse me,” she whispers to the girl sitting in the row below her, tapping on their shoulder, “Could you please explain what the professor is talking about? Just, quickly, if you can.”

“Nope, sorry,” the girl replies in a bored tone, not even bothering to turn around.

Tessa sighs, dropping her chin into her hand. 

There’s no way she’s going to know what’s going on by the end of class, and then she’ll have to go talk to her professor to get the notes, since she doesn’t know anyone in the class.

The professor talks and talks, flicks through a PowerPoint presentation that Tessa doesn’t understand one slide of.

In other words, she’s absolutely screwed.

A balled up piece of paper bounces off her shoulder a few minutes before the end of class, and she turns around to glare at whoever it was.

The glare hardens when she sees who it is, and she’s half-tempted to sigh again, but she doesn’t.

“I didn’t know you were in this class.”

Scott grins, his eyes alight with mischief. “You would if you had bothered to sit anywhere other than the first row.

“It helps me concentrate better. Plus, I can see the PowerPoint better from upfront.”

“Maybe you should get some glasses.”

Tessa fights the urge to roll her eyes. “Why are you here? And, more importantly, why are you talking to me?”

“I’m a psych minor, and I need two more classes to fulfill the requirement. This is one of them. And I’m talking to you because I noticed that you’re not taking notes, and I wanted to know why.”

“I got here thirty minutes late. Surely you saw that, not that it’s any of your business.”

Scott quirks an eyebrow. “Were you out late partying?”

“Working on a project, actually. It’s due in my next class, although it would help if I knew what was going on in this class.”

“Lucky for you, I happen to know what’s going on.”

“Okay? How is that lucky for me?”

“I know what’s going on, and you don’t. I can help you, if you want.”

Tessa scoffs. “Oh, right. You probably haven’t helped anyone with anything ever, Scott.”

“I’m being serious, T.”

She narrows her eyes. “How do you know my name starts with a T?”

“You ask too many questions. Besides, your necklace has a T on it, so I assumed. If you don’t want people to know your name, you probably shouldn’t advertise the first letter.”

“I’ll buy you lunch if you help me with the homework. Or give me your notes,” Tessa offers, surprised at herself, as the two of them leave class.

“Can I pick the place?”

“Sure.”

Scott grins. “Like a date?”

She’s quick to respond. “It’s not a date.”

“You offered to buy me lunch. I’d say that’s a date.”

“Nope, not a date.”

He ignores her, rambling on. “I mean, usually I know the names of the girls I’m going on dates with, but I’ll make an exception for you.”

“I’m honored,” she deadpans. “When do you want to get lunch?”

“Tomorrow? I have class in ten minutes.”

“Yeah, sure. We can exchange numbers if you want, just so we know where and what time.”

Scott gives her his phone and is about to say something (make a smart comment, probably), but decides against it.

When Tessa’s done adding her number to his phone, he looks at it and stares at her.

“I got your number and your name all in one,” he says joyously, sounding as excited as a kid in a candy store.

A ghost of a smile appears on her lips. “Yeah, I figured you were right, you should know my name sometime.”

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, Tessa.”

 

The next day, an unknown number texts Tessa right as she’s walking to her second class of the day.

_Want to meet for lunch at two at that pizza place on eighth street?_

**Is this Scott? she replies.**

Her phone vibrates instantly with a reply. _Yes, princess._

**Not going to give up on that now that you know my name? But yeah, two sounds good.**

_Nope, not a chance._

She pockets her phone and walks into class, and then heads to meet Scott when her class is over, since it ends at 1:45.

They’re meeting at one of those build-your-own pizza places, which she honestly hasn’t ever been to, but she heard this one is good.

“Hey,” she greets, walking up next to him.

“Hi, Tessa. Ready for this study session/date?”

He holds the door for her, and she steps through it, thanking him over her shoulder.

She may not like him but that doesn’t mean she can’t be polite.

“Yeah, I hope this just isn’t a complicated topic,” she answers, once they’re in line for their pizza.

“It’s not the easiest, although I almost fell asleep when he was explaining it.”

Tessa snorts and shakes her head, stepping up to order.

The lady behind the counter stares at Scott for a second too long. “What’ll it be for you?” she asks him.

“Oh, I’ll just have a pepperoni and mushroom pizza. Thanks,” he smiles.

The two of them make their way over to a table after being told that their pizzas would be brought out to them.

Tessa gets her psychology textbook out of her bag, along with a notebook and a pencil.

Scott skims over the page and is in the middle of explaining it to her when their pizzas arrive.

“We’ll come back to it once we’re done eating,” he declares, picking up a slice of pizza and taking a bite.

They eat in silence for a few minutes. Tessa can’t think of anything to ask him.

She thinks of a question eventually, and it’s out of her mouth before she can stop it. “How did you meet Andrew?”

He raises his eyebrows, surprised. “You’re actually going to talk to me and not say something rude?”

“Hey, you started it the first day we met,” she points out.

“That was over a month ago, Tess.”

“So? You were an asshole.”

“Past tense? Oh, I see how it is.”

“You still are an asshole,” she replies, “I just feel bad saying it to your face.”

“Why? You know I don’t have a problem telling you what I think.”

“That’s where we’re different, Scott. Well, we’re not really similar at all, now that I think about it. You don’t have a filter and you certainly don’t care what people think of you, but I care too much about what people think of me.”

“Why?” he repeats, looking confused. “You don’t owe anyone anything, Tessa. I don’t care what people think of me because their opinions don’t matter to me. I’m one of those people who only lets certain people in. I have a guard up, but the people closest to me know that the majority of what I say is just a joke.”

She doesn't say anything, just raises her eyebrows. "Not sure if I believe that, but okay."

Any traces of jokes are gone now; Scott looks totally serious, and that’s when Tessa knows that she struck a nerve with him.

She anxiously awaits what he’s going to say, although she doesn’t really care because they hate each other. 

The air that sits between them is thick and awkward.

“I’m not trying to make you believe anything, Tessa, just let you in on who I am. But I guess that might have been a mistake.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes, looking at him. “I didn’t mean to offend you, but like you said, you don’t owe me anything. Why do you care what I think?”

He shrugs. “I just don’t want you to think what everyone else does about me.”

“That you can get any girl you want, whenever you want?”

“Yeah.”

“It hurts you, doesn’t it?”

He stares at her. “It would hurt you, wouldn’t it?”

“Absolutely.”

There are a few beats of silence as they finish eating.

“Well, we should probably get back to studying,” Scott suggests.

“Yeah. Hey, Scott?”

“What’s up?”

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier, about believing you.”

He smiles at her, and it feels genuine. “Don’t worry about it, T.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I had so much fun writing this chapter and I'm super excited for it to keep going.
> 
> Don't worry, it will still be a long, long time before they get together and there will be plenty more jokes. They're certainly not friends, but they don't exactly hate each other. 
> 
> If this story had a Facebook status, it would be: it's complicated.
> 
> Please let me know what you think! <3


	4. chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa and Scott are slowly becoming friends, bonding over _Pride and Prejudice_ as well as Tessa's fashion projects.

Tessa and Scott are leaving the pizza place hours later when it starts to rain.

The sidewalk they’re standing on is crowded. 

Someone bumps into Tessa, and then glares at her as if it was her fault as she stumbles.

She almost says something to them, but they’re gone before she can, and it wouldn’t be worth it, not with the amount of people walking down the street.

Scott grabs her arm, stopping her from falling. 

She feels his gaze on her as she readjusts her bag. “You alright?”

“Yeah. Thanks. I’ll see you on Friday.”

With that, Tessa turns and walks in the opposite direction. 

The rain is coming down so hard now; she’s struggling to see in front of her. She doesn’t hear Scott’s footsteps, doesn’t even know he’s behind her until he careens into her and knocks them both to the ground.

“What the–?”

“Oh, shit. I’m so sorry, T. I just wanted to say that I drove here so I can give you a ride home,” Scott says from behind her, and she looks behind her to see him standing up and watches as he holds out his hand to her.

She takes his offered hand and thinks about it as he pulls her up. Without even thinking about it, she sets her hands on his shoulders once she’s standing, only taking them away when she’s confident that she’s not going to fall.

“Okay,” she agrees.

The walk to Scott’s car is silent. He picks up a pile of stuff from the passenger seat with a sheepish grin: his backpack, jacket, a stack of CDs and a copy of Jane Austen’s _Emma_.

“You’re a fan of Jane Austen?” She can’t help but ask.

Scott straightens up and gestures for her to get in. The back passenger side door opens and he deposits the things into the back seat.

It’s only when he’s sitting in the driver’s seat and has started the car that he answers.

“I’m taking a class this semester on how modern-day romance stories relate to the classic ones. And before you ask, no, that class isn’t a requirement, even though I’m an English major. I’m just trying to up my romance game for the ladies.”

She snorts and shakes her head. “Scott, please. I bet there are tons of girls in that class alone that would date you. All you have to do is become friends with them first, don’t start talking to a girl with the intention of dating her.”

He gives her a look as he backs out of the parking lot. “I know how to get girls.”

“You literally _just_ admitted to me that you’re taking a class to learn how to be more romantic, but okay.”

“No, I said that I’m taking that class to _up_ my romance game, not to _be_ more romantic. There’s a difference.”

Tessa shrugs, watching the windshield wipers swipe the rain away furiously. She blinks and leans her head against the window. “It’s not like I would know.”

“What do you mean?”

She doesn’t answer for a moment, debates on what to say. “Never mind.”

He lets it go for a second, but then the silence between them stretches on for too long, and she doesn’t like it. Not that it’s uncomfortable, but it’s slightly awkward. 

Given the fact that she still hated Scott’s guts not 24 hours ago, the thought of admitting something so personal to him scares her.

“Have you read _Pride and Prejudice_?” Tessa asks.

“Of course I have. I hate Darcy, Elizabeth should have never gotten with him.”

His dislike for Mr. Darcy seeps through his words and his facial expressions instantly changes, like he’s remembering something he’d rather not.

She raises her eyebrows, amused, and tries not to laugh. “Wow, you have such strong feelings about one Fitzwilliam Darcy. Why?”

“Because he was so mean to Elizabeth! Not to mention he meddled with Jane and Bingley’s relationship, which is just so beyond wrong that I can’t even comprehend it. Elizabeth cared about Jane so much and to see her sister go through something like that . . .” He stops to take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s awful that he would put Jane and Elizabeth through that. When you’re with someone and you break their heart, you don’t only mess it up with them. You’ve now severed ties with everyone that knows and loves that person. Which is what Darcy did.”

Scott won’t meet Tessa’s eye. 

She wants to know if he has experience with that, with a sibling break-up (or maybe one of his own), but she doesn’t dare ask.

The only thing she can think to say is, “I honestly never thought about it like that.”

It’s clear that this is something that Scott feels very strongly about. She honestly hasn’t thought of it all in the way that he has, but in hearing that, hearing the raw, strong emotion in his voice and the hardened expression on his face, Tessa knows that he’s made her see things in a new light, even if it’s only the situation of a fictional character.

 

The door opens before Tessa can even finish knocking.

She’s stopped over Scott’s and Andrew’s apartment in the middle of working on a project for one of her fashion design classes. She and Jenny borrowed a box of sugar from them a few days before, the day after Scott and Tessa’s study session, and she’s just now remembered that she needs to return it.

“Tessa!” Andrew exclaims, dragging out the a for longer than necessary. “What’s up?”

“Not much, Andrew. I was just bringing by the sugar that you leant Jenny and I. Thanks again for letting us borrow it.”

“Who’s at the door?” Scott yells, and then he comes into view. “Tessa! Funny seeing you here.”

“Hi, Scott.”

“What are you doing? Here, I mean. Unless you, like, want to talk about what you’re doing tonight. I don’t know. Whatever you want, princess.”

She’d forgotten about that nickname simply because he hasn’t been using it, and she rolls her eyes. “Now that you know my name, I thought we were done with ‘princess’. I was just dropping by the box of sugar that Andrew lent Jenny and I.”

He grins, leaning against the doorframe since Andrew’s now left with the sugar. “Of course not, T. That nickname will always be around. What did you need sugar for?”

“It was Jenny’s birthday yesterday, so I baked her a cake.”

“Oh, really? What flavor?”

“Chocolate with mint icing.”

He narrows his eyes in thought and brushes a hand through his hair. “I don’t know that I’ve ever heard of mint icing before, how was it?”

“It was pretty good. Mint’s her favorite flavor, so she was really excited about it. Do you want a piece? We have plenty.”

She isn’t sure why she offered; maybe she feels like she understands him a little bit better after hearing him talk about how he doesn’t like Mr. Darcy and, more importantly, why. 

He’s either been through something like that or someone really close to him has and he was there to pick up the pieces, which Tessa respects. She respects that he could get his heart broken, or watch that happen to someone, and learn how to be okay again. It's obvious that Scott is protective of the people he loves, the same way that she is.

“Yeah. I can head over now if it’s not a problem.”

“Sure, let’s go. The place is a mess, I’m working on a project for one of my classes and haven’t cleaned. Jenny’s gone for the weekend visiting her parents, so it’s just been me.”

The door closes behind Scott and Tessa leads him over to her apartment right next door.

“That’s fine,” he answers, “Andrew and I definitely aren’t the cleanest. What project are you working on?”

“I have a design class this semester, which honestly sounds a little boring but it’s really cool. Um, sorry about the mess. It’s not normally like this, but I’ve been stressing over this project all of last night and most of today.”

There’s stuff everywhere: dishes piled high in the sink, her backpack overflowing, spilling her notebooks and papers onto the floor, and textbooks sitting on the coffee table.

“Tessa. It’s okay, I promise. I’m only judging you a little bit,” he teases, winking at her. She rolls her eyes. “Have you been eating and getting, you know, enough sleep?”

She hesitates, not meeting his eye. “Kind of? I ate breakfast and was about to eat lunch before I brought that over, but I didn’t sleep at all last night.”

“Oh. Why not?”

“I’ve been working on this all week and it’s still not done. But it should be, I don’t understand why it isn’t. I’ve spent hours and hours on it, and it’s just . . . not working.”

“What do you have to do? Can I see it?”

She leads him to her room, which is down a short hallway, next to the bathroom. “It’s only a month into the semester, but this class has one project that we work on all semester. We have deadlines for various things that we have to get done, based on what our theme is, and I have a deadline tomorrow. At the beginning of the semester, my professor gave all of us a season and we had to construct an outfit based off that particular season. I was given spring, so I decided to do a floor-length dress.

“After meeting with my professor, she gave me set deadlines, and the first piece, the sleeves, are due tomorrow. I’ve decided to make them out of lace, and – here,” She picks up a thick green sketchbook and holds it out to Scott, who takes it and flips it open. “That’s my sketch. It’s going to be all black with red fabric underneath, quarter-length sleeves and a deep V neckline. This,” Tessa points to where she’s drawn the lace of the sleeves, “is what I’m working on for tomorrow.”

“Wow,” Scott breathes out, and she watches as his eyes drink in every tiny detail of the sketch. “T, this is so awesome. Seriously, I had no idea you were a fashion design major. Are you a psych minor too, then?”

“I’m double majoring in fashion and psych, actually,” she admits sheepishly, laughing a little as he gapes at her. “Which is a lot of work, but I’m really passionate about both. Plus, I don’t know what I want to do with my degrees.”

“This is just . . . stunning. What can’t you figure out? Not that I can help you, obviously, but I don’t know. It might be helpful to talk to someone about it.”

“You’re right. It’s better than pacing around here, muttering to myself. Let me get cake first, though. That’s what you came here for.”

“Can I look at the other sketches in here?”

“Sure. There’s not very many, only the rejected ones from this project. Actually, there might be some ideas in there for the upcoming fashion show, but none of those are completely thought out, at least I don't think so, but I can't remember. It's been so long since I've looked at them. I’ll be right back.”

As she leaves, Scott sits down on the edge of her bed and goes back to the first page of the sketchbook. The one on the first page is a teal dress where the sleeves come up like a cape. The model Tessa’s drawn has her hands above her head, showing that the sleeves extend all the way down to the fingers. There’s a box off to the side with an arrow pointing to the fingers. Tessa is showing a zoomed-in hand, where there’s a piece of elastic fabric stitched to the sleeves. In the rest of the sketchbook, there’s a jacket and jeans combo; a pale green ballgown that poufs out, and a knee-length skirt and top.

There’s a note off to the side of that one, written in what Scott assumes to be Tessa’s handwriting. It’s loopy, half-cursive and half-print, yet he can still read everything as it’s by no means messy.

_*Skirt with fringe? Should it fold over to create a pleated effect? **Figure out before the show!**_

The door creaks open, alerting Scott that Tessa is back. She’s carrying two plates, one in each hand, each with massive pieces of chocolate cake. When she sits next to him, she hands him one of the plates. 

Her gaze drifts to her sketchbook, which is still lying open on his lap.

He starts talking before she has the chance to. “These are all amazing, I seriously haven’t seen fashion pieces this . . . _good_. Like, God, Tessa. And this cake is superb. Do you sleep at all?”

A smile that reaches her eyes appears on her face. “Thank you. Sometimes,” she admits. “I try to, but I usually don’t get as much sleep as I’d like to.”

“Well, if you ever want someone to keep you company, let me know. I usually don’t get to sleep until around one or two in the morning anyway. Also, I have to ask: what is fringe and a . . . pleat?”

She holds up one finger, indicating _one second_ , as she’s just taken a bite of cake. “Fringe is little strips of fabric; sometimes they can be tied together. They hang off the end of a dress, a shirt, or sometimes even pants. A pleated skirt is fabric that has been folded over, and it looks like an accordion in a way, I guess.”

Scott holds her gaze as she talks, looking interested and like he’s hanging on to her every word.

“That’s so cool. I noticed it on one of your sketches and wasn’t entirely sure what it meant.”

They sit in silence for a little while, until both of their plates are empty.

“Alright,” Tessa claps her hands together and heads over to her desk, where her sewing machine, stacks of notebooks and sketchbooks, as well as pencils and pens of various colors, sit, “I have the pieces of lace that are going to become the sleeves here, but I haven’t sewed them yet. I wanted to make sure that they’re even. I’ve tried measuring it out, but I just don’t know for sure.”

“Do you need me to do anything?” Scott offers. “I feel bad that you’ve been working on this for so long and you haven’t gotten it right yet, so I’d like to help out if I can.”

The smile brightens a little, and Tessa feels like he is definitely making an effort to be nice to her, maybe even an effort to try to be her friend.

She’s always been one to have somewhat of a guard up with anyone who isn’t her family. She’s trusted people too easily in the past which has led to a few serious friendship break-ups, but she’s being conscious about who she lets in and who she doesn’t. 

Since she and Scott didn’t stop hurling off insults and sarcastic comments toward each other (not to mention just generally not liking the other’s presence) until last week, it makes sense to her that there are still traces of a guard up between the two of them. That being said, he’s genuinely interested in her interests and what she has to say, as she is with him, which is important to her.

It’ll take a little bit more convincing, but she feels surer in the fact that they’re on their way to becoming friends.

“Actually, yeah,” she answers, “there is something you can do to help me. Stay right there.”

Tessa heads over to her desk, puts on a pair of white plastic-framed glasses, and picks up the two pieces that she’s going to use for the sleeves of her dress. “If it’s okay, I’m going to wrap these around your arm and make sure that they are the same size.”

“Yeah, go ahead,” Scott says, holding out his arm to her.

“May I?” she asks, gesturing to his sleeve.

He nods and she pushes it up to his shoulder, then takes the two pieces of fabric and wraps them around his arm. Tessa kneels down on the floor in front of him, looking at the fabric from underneath so that she can makes sure they match. She stretches up to look more closely and spots an uneven line right in the middle.

“Will you do me a favor?” she mumbles, eyebrows pulled together in concentration as she surveys the fabric for any more mistakes.

“What is it?”

“Just hold that right there. I’m going to grab scissors.” She waits until he grabs the fabric to hold it in place before getting up and getting a measuring tape and scissors from her desk.

“What’s wrong with it, T?” Scott asks. “It looks pretty good from here.”

She kneels in front of his again and grabs the fabric. He doesn’t let go. “There’s an uneven spot right in the middle that is pretty obvious now that I’m looking at it on a model. I mean, on you. You can let go now.”

He does with a grin, even though she can’t see it. “You think I’m a model?”

“No.”

“Yeah, I think you do.”

“I do not! I’m just . . . not used to working with real people. Or talking to people as I work. Usually I’m in the studio and I’m alone, unless one of my professors is with me, critiquing my work. I mostly use models as I haven’t worked with a person.”

“I thought you were doing the fashion show, haven’t you done them before?”

“I am, but since I’m a sophomore, I haven’t had the chance to work a fashion show yet. My first one will be the one in November.”

She’s revealing a lot about herself, she thinks. Probably because Scott did when she asked him his thoughts on _Pride and Prejudice_ , so she knows that he’s being open and honest with her. 

Tessa is trying to be more like that.

“You’re in your second year?” Scott asks, sounding baffled. She laughs as she cuts along the fabric.

“Yeah?”

“Jeez, T. I thought you were a senior, like I am.”

“You’re a senior?”

“Yep, I graduate in the spring.”

“Oh.”

He reaches up to itch his arm and freezes, as if he’s not sure he should itch his arm while she has a pair of scissors so close to it.

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

Tessa laughs again as she pulls away. “It’s okay, I’m done anyway. Thanks for doing that for me, it really helped me out.”

He stands up and heads to the door. “Of course, any time. I’ll let you get back to your project, thank you for the cake. I’ll see you around, Tessa.”

“Yeah,” she answers faintly, not having expected him to leave so suddenly. “, right, it’s all good. See you around.”

He leaves before she can say anything else.

You want to open up a little more to him, don’t you? It’s nice not hating him, after all, she thinks, and rushes after him.

“Scott!” she calls, even though her apartment isn’t that big and he’s only at the door. “Do you maybe want to study for the psychology test next week? Together, I mean?”

His eyes land on something in her hands. “Running with scissors isn’t good, you know,” he teases, smirking. She isn’t quite sure why he’s said that but doesn’t think anything of it. “But yeah, let’s study for that test. 4:30 on Monday at the library?”

“Sounds good.”

With that, he turns the handle on the door and leaves. 

It’s only when the door has shut that Tessa realizes she’s still holding onto the fabric and scissors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone, hope you're having a good day!
> 
> Just a quick note: I'm not well-versed in fashion lingo, so any mistakes or inaccuracies are entirely my own.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> Any kudos or comments are greatly appreciated :)


	5. chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa hangs out with Kaitlyn, who invites her to Andrew's horror movie night the next night. 
> 
> Except she ends up watching a movie with Scott, instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note: there are mild spoilers for the first _Bridget Jones_ movie, _Bridget Jones's Diary_. 
> 
> I don't own the movie or the events that were talked about from the movie in this chapter. Nor do I own any of the other books, tv shows or movies mentioned in this chapter and any chapters from here on out. All rights belong to their respective owners.

“I’m ready to start dating again.”

Tessa looks up from her sketchbook to see Jenny staring at her. The declaration comes only a month after Lawrence broke up with her.

“Are you sure?” she replies slowly, as Jenny leans against the doorway to her room, the lamp light reflecting off of her platinum hair.

Her roommate lifts one shoulder up in a shrug. “I’m pretty sure. What you said that night, about how Lawrence wasn’t the one . . . I’ve been thinking a lot about that, and you’re right. He absolutely isn’t what I want when I picture myself with someone. I want a guy who will be one-hundred percent sure of us, of our relationship. No more of this ‘open-relationship’ stuff, because that honestly never made any sense to me. I just put up with it because I didn’t want Lawrence to leave, but I’m glad I decided not to. It was good for me to decide what I want and to take a little while to decide that for myself.”

“That’s really good, Jenny.” Tessa offers her a smile. “I’m proud of you; it isn’t easy to decide what you want in a relationship.”

“Thanks, Tessa. I’ll let you get back to your studying.”

Since she’d studied with Scott for that psychology exam last week, the two of them haven’t seen each other outside of class. She doesn’t think they’re friends yet; neither of them has really made the effort to hang out. And, honestly, Tessa is okay with that. She’s busy with all of her projects and other homework; the little time she has is devoted to watching reruns of _Gilmore Girls_.

She studies for a little while before her phone chimes with a text, and she sees that it’s from Kaitlyn, Andrew’s girlfriend. The two are in a design class together (a fact which Tessa did not realize until Kaitlyn came up to her last week after class and said, “Tessa! I thought that was you, but I was too afraid to say anything.”) and are meeting for ice cream to chat about their projects.

_Hey girl!_ it reads. _Just wanted to make sure we’re still on for 1:30?_

**Of course** , Tessa is quick to reply, throwing on a smiley face emoji at the end just because she wants to.

When she meets Kaitlyn in front of McGillan’s, the new ice cream place that’s just opened on campus, her bag is so full of stuff that everything spills out onto the sidewalk.

Kaitlyn laughs as she bends down to help Tessa pick up her stuff. “Looks like you’re going to need a new bag, eh?”

“Yeah,” she agrees, laughing along.

Once all of her stuff has been put back in her bag, the two head inside.

The walls are a mustard-yellow color, yet it’s somehow pleasing to the eye. Calming. Pushed up against the far wall is a large bookcase, overflowing with books, and the bookcase goes almost as high as the vaulted ceiling of the shop.

Instead of a ladder to climb on to reach the books, there is a staircase that wraps around itself several times, leading to the top of the bookshelf. 

There’s a line of people waiting at the counter, either standing in line to order or off to the side to wait for their ice cream.

Kaitlyn and Tessa chat as they stand in line, and once the chalkboard menu that hangs above the counter comes into view, Tessa realizes that all of the ice creams are named after famous books or famous authors.

The Fitzgerald, for example, is a champagne ice cream topped with golden sprinkles, probably meant to look bubbly and to symbolize the Jazz Age, the period of time during which F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald were most known. The _Wonderland_ is a vanilla milkshake, full of chocolate-chip cookie dough and Oreo crumbles, rainbow sprinkles, and a strawberry-filled center, named for the mysterious and whimsical setting of Lewis Carroll’s _Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland_.

“Scott would love this place,” Kaitlyn says off-handedly, as if she’s expecting some sort of reaction.

“Oh, yeah.” Tessa replies, too busy reading the menu to properly pay attention.

The Narnia catches her eye: it’s a walnut-and-pretzel filled vanilla ice cream, topped with caramel and chocolate syrup. She thinks she’s going to go with that one, since they’re almost at the front of the line and she has to decide soon.

“You know,” her friend continues, as if Tessa simply hadn’t said anything at all, “because he’s an English major.”

She tears her eyes away from the menu to look at Kaitlyn, who’s smirking at her. “Yeah, he mentioned something about that. He’s taking a class on comparing classic romance stories to modern-day ones.”

Kaitlyn laughs once, so loudly that the people in front of them turn around to stare at her. “I have no idea why he took that class.”

“I know.” _It’s ridiculous_.

“It is.”

“Huh, what?” Tessa asks, tilting her head in confusion.

“You said that it’s ridiculous, and I was agreeing with you. No one should be that hot, it’s unfair to the rest of us.”

Despite that’s not what she meant, not really, she laughs. “What about Andrew, though?”

“What about him? You know you can date someone and find other people attractive, right, Tessa? It’s not a bad thing at all. Andrew talks about how much he loves Lady Gaga almost every day.”

“Yeah.” Her voice gets a million times quieter than it had been before, and luckily, she’s saved by the person behind the counter asking what she’d like to order.

Once her and Kaitlyn get their ice creams, they head to a table in the corner, stacks of books piled high around it.

She meets her friend’s gaze, only to see Kaitlyn staring intently at her, like she’s a tough problem she can’t figure out.

“What?”

“Have you ever been in love?”

Tessa and Kaitlyn have only met a few times, a fact that Tessa is immediately aware of once the question is out there in the open.

She hesitates. 

She loves pasta and sparkly colored nail polish that confetti. A bowl of cookie dough ice cream drizzled with chocolate sauce. Tea and a nice long book, preferably while the sun sets, casting a red-orange glow around the room. When she crosses everything off of her to-do list and is able to relax at the end of a long day. Large vanilla lattes with almond milk and caramel added in.

But those are inanimate objects, which she hardly thinks is the answer Kaitlyn is looking for, judging by the still-intense glare she’s on the receiving end of. 

Here’s the thing: Tessa Virtue has never been in love with a person, and she hasn’t necessarily told a lot of people. The guys that she had crushes on in high school never returned her feelings, and her first kiss (if you could call it that) had been the result of a game of Spin the Bottle her freshman year of high school. Which she doesn't think really counts.

She’s never had butterflies in her stomach when she looks at someone. Has never been given flowers or a box of chocolates. Hasn’t ever celebrated Valentine’s Day, actually, only Galentine’s Day with her sister and mom. Tessa doesn’t know what her ideal first date would be, since she’s never been on one; how does she have something to compare it to?

She’s almost twenty and she hasn’t had her first real kiss. There are people her age who are getting married, surely. Who have children.

Except she doesn’t feel behind in any way. Those things will come to her as they’re meant to, and she’s content and happy with how her life is going now. 

She doesn’t _need_ candy or hand-written notes.

Does she want those things? Yes. Want someone to hold her gently and kiss her tenderly, telling her in a low voice that they love her and want to be with her forever? Of course.

But she doesn’t crave that, because she just knows that it will happen someday. (Or at least, she hopes.)

Her roommate last year had been the subject of a love triangle with two guys from their psychology class. To have to hear about it constantly was exhausting. Tessa hasn’t ever had one person crush on her, let alone two at once. Not that she knows of, anyway.

And it’s not that she doesn’t want those things; she just overthinks it. the thought of being kissed makes her wonder if there’s a wrong way to kiss. She doesn’t want to have sex yet because she’d like to be in a committed relationship first, sure of the fact that the other person loves her and wants to be with her.

“Tessa?” Kaitlyn asks her, snapping her fingers loudly and drawing Tessa out of her thoughts.

She blinks slowly, as though waking up from a nap, only to realize that she hasn’t yet answered Kaitlyn’s question. She clasps her hands and looks down at them, trying to stall for as long as possible. 

She doesn’t know what Kaitlyn is going to think, and she gnaws on her lip for so long she gives herself a headache. “No.”

Her friend nods. “I hadn’t either, not before Andrew, at least. I had a boyfriend before we started dating, but he was kind of a douchebag. He wouldn’t even take ten minutes out of his day to call me, which normally I wouldn’t care, but he wouldn’t text me, either. So, I broke up with him, and even though it was hard because he was my first boyfriend and I truly thought I loved him, I never would have gotten with Andrew, who taught me what real love is.”

“I’ve never had a boyfriend,” Tessa says self-consciously, wrapping her hands around her now-empty bowl of ice cream, which is still cold to the touch despite the fact that there isn’t anything in it. “Not because I don’t want to, but because I just think I haven’t found the right person yet. None of my crushes in high school were reciprocated, and now I’m so focused on school that I don’t think I have time.”

Kaitlyn mutters something, too softly to be heard, but then she clears her throat and looks up like she didn’t say anything. “You know, Tessa, you can date a few wrong people before finding the right one. No one finds their soulmate in their first relationship. Actually, that’s not true. Very few people do. And you’ll always have time for a relationship, you just have to make time. The same way you’re making time to meet me for ice cream. Once you find someone that you click with, it won’t be hard. I think it’s a good idea to be friends first, though. Don’t put so much pressure on one relationship, just go with the flow and see where it ends up.”

“That makes sense. I guess I just want it to be right. I want to experience all of my firsts with someone who loves me and cares about me.”

“I completely understand that. And I know you’re going to find it someday. Don’t go looking for it, that’s when you’ll attract the wrong kind of people, which is something you absolutely don’t want.”

“I haven’t been looking for it, though, and nothing’s come my way.”

“You’d be surprised at what happens when things are right in front of you.” Kaitlyn smiles secretively, although her friend doesn’t know why. “Anyway. We came here to go over our sketches for this next part of our project, so we should probably do that. What season do you have?”

Tessa blinks, feeling whiplash at how quickly Kaitlyn changes subjects. “Uh, spring. What about you?”

“Fall. What are you doing for your piece? I’m doing a sweater dress with a patchwork jean jacket.”

“I’ve decided on a black dress with red underneath and lace sleeves.”

“Oh, that sounds really cool!"

She feels a light blush creep up her neck and spread across her cheeks. “Thanks.”

They talk about Kaitlyn’s sketch first. It’s a black knit sweater dress with a turtleneck, and she’s not sure if she should put patches of fabric on it, matching the patchwork on the jean jacket. After looking at all of the patches Kaitlyn lays out, Tessa and her talk about how interesting it would be if she added patches on the dress, in opposite colors than what’s going to be on the jacket. Tessa thinks it will look really cool once it’s finished, and when she tells Kaitlyn just as much, the other girl smiles appreciatively.

“Now, enough about me. I want to talk about your sketch, Tess. I’m so excited to see it. Can we look at it?”

Tessa still feels self-conscious showing people her work, but she’s a fashion design major; she’s going to have to show her sketches to people all the time when ( _if_ , she corrects herself; she still hasn't decided what she wants to do) she works in the fashion industry. Last week, she felt comfortable showing her sketches to Scott, remembering how he asked in-depth questions and really cared about her answers. And how, when she went to get their cake, he had _asked_ before rifling through her sketchbook. The fact that he did that still astounds her, because she’s had friends before who think that since they’re holding on to her sketchbook, that gives them the right to look through it.

It doesn’t.

“Yeah,” she replies distantly, pulling her sketchbook out of her bag and handing it over to Kaitlyn. “It’s the one about four pages in.”

“Whoa. This is going to be gorgeous! Are you hoping to have it done for the fashion show in November?”

“I don’t think so, I’m stressed enough trying to get it done by the end of the semester. There are times that I think I’ve taken on more than I’m capable of. It’s only October and I’ve already been losing sleep over this project, pulling all-nighters and waking up early so that I can work on it.”

“Tessa,” Kaitlyn says seriously, closing the sketchbook and giving it back to her. “You can’t overwork yourself; you’ll get burned out. And we’re only a few months into the school year. Take time for yourself, watch a movie or do a face mask. Start a new show on Netflix. What do you do outside of school? Are you in any clubs or anything?”

“Um, well, I don’t really have a lot of free time so I’m not in any clubs, but I took dance when I was younger, and I’d like to pick it up again. I just don’t know if I–”

“Have time?” her friend asks as Tessa looks away, embarrassed.

“Yeah,” she answers quietly. “But! Before you say anything, now I know that I just have to make time for the things that I want to do instead of just wishing that I had time to do them.”

Kaitlyn nods with a smile, satisfied with her answer. “You’re at school to learn and work towards your future career, but it’s also about that relaxation to work ratio. Tell you what, Andrew’s having a horror movie night tomorrow night, you should come.”

Tessa doesn’t like horror movies, never has. The jump scares always get her (every single time, without fail, even if she knows it’s coming), the endings are usually too cliché (except for _A Quiet Place_ , which had her on the edge of her seat for 90 minutes, the same handful of popcorn lifted halfway to her mouth the whole time as she watched the events unfold on screen, too scared to make a sound), and she always, always has nightmares (even _E.T._ scared her as a kid). Not to mention she can’t watch them alone, because she buries her face in her hands the second the movie starts (and once it’s started, she’ll watch between her fingers, snapping them closed when something gets too scary).

Which is why she surprises herself when she says, “Okay.”

And then, the question that comes next falls from her mouth of its own accord. “Is Scott going to be there?”

She really doesn’t know why she asked that, and she mentally slaps her forehead. Judging by the look Kaitlyn gives her, eyebrows arched and lips downturned in the beginnings of a frown, she doesn’t know, either.

“I mean,” she starts, not sure why she feels compelled to give an explanation at all. “We hardly know each other, and we don’t see each other outside of class except to study for psychology. And this one time, he came over because I made a cake for Jenny’s birthday and he wanted to try a piece. We talked about my design pieces, that was pretty much it.”

Kaitlyn dissolves into giggles, throwing back her head as she laughs and laughs. “I know, Tessa. You don’t have to explain yourself. It’s just that . . . Despite all the jokes that we make about how he could get any girl, he’s only had one girlfriend in his life. They dated for a few years, until she broke his heart by moving to New York without any explanation.”

“Um, okay,” she replies, not entirely sure what she should be doing with this information, if anything at all.

Tessa likes to be organized; when her friends tell her things, she’ll mentally file it away to remember later. But she doesn’t have a mental file for Things About Scott Moir because she doesn’t know him well enough yet. She knows simple things, like that his eyes are brown and they light up whenever he talks about something he’s interested in (surely everyone does that?); that he always pays close attention to their professor, writing down notes as in-depth as Tessa’s; his evident dislike for Mr. Darcy.

It hits her, then, that she’d been right: he had gone through a break-up, if what Kaitlyn said is true (and there’s no reason to doubt her, not really). Maybe someone close to him had been left to pick up the pieces.

But beyond that, there’s not much else she knows about him.

Kaitlyn shrugs, pulling her out of her thoughts. “Not that any of that excuses the fact that he wasn’t nice to you in the beginning. Ever since Ruby, Scott has been very, very careful about who he lets in. He’s working on it, though.”

“I get it,” Tessa replies earnestly, because she does. “I put up walls around people that I don’t know, just because I’m afraid of getting hurt.”

Kaitlyn sets her chin on her hand. “Has that happened before?”

She fiddles with the napkin in front of her. She doesn’t like feeling vulnerable, and what she’s about to say definitely will make her feel that way. “With friends, yeah. I don’t talk to my friends from high school very much anymore, since we all went to different schools.”

Her voice grows quiet by the time she’s done talking, and she sits up in her chair to look at Kaitlyn. “But it’s okay now, I have friends here that I talk to a lot, and I love hanging out with you and Andrew, if that’s cool.”

“Of course!” Her friend practically beams at her. Her eyes shine brightly, and she reaches across the table to squeeze Tessa’s hand. “We love hanging out with you, too! And I’m sure Scott will come around.”

“He’s already starting to, maybe,” she admits. “But I’m not sure.”

“What makes you think that he is?”

“Well, he offered to help me with my design project, and said that if I ever wanted company while I was up late, he’d be willing to come over and hang out with me.”

Kaitlyn looks surprised, her eyebrows raising. “Wow, that’s not something I would’ve expected from Scott, given how long it takes for him to let people in. I know you guys haven’t been hanging out very much, but he’s mentioned you a few times to Andrew, who’s mentioned it to me.”

“Yeah.” She’s curious to know what he’s said about her, but Kaitlyn doesn’t offer anything more, instead suggesting that they head back to the apartment.

“Oh, I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“Thanks for joining me for ice cream, I’ll definitely be coming here with Andrew, and we’ll probably tell Scott about it.”  


“I can’t wait either. Of course, this was fun! I liked talking about our projects, even though it makes me feel like I’m giving away a part of myself.”

“That makes sense, I feel that way, too.”

“Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow, Kaitlyn!”

 

When she knocks on her neighbor’s door at exactly 7:30 (Andrew had texted her this morning, once to say that the party was going to start then, and again to ask, _could you bring a bag of your favorite candy, Tess?_ ), it flies open and she sees Scott on the other side, his hair sticking up in so many directions and his eyes bleary.

He blinks at her a few times, his expression changing lightning-quick from tired to confused. It’s like he doesn’t know why she’s here.

“Hello,” he greets, his voice low and scratchy with the beginnings of a cold. Or like how it is when one has just woken up, Tessa isn’t sure which. 

But then he sniffles, sounding congested, which confirms that he is, in fact, sick.

“Hey,” she replies, tucking the bag of assorted chocolates (Snickers wrapped in glow-in-the-dark wrappers, orange dyed Kit-Kats, pumpkin-shaped Reese’s Cups and Crunch bars with spooky designs printed on them) under her arm. “Are Andrew and Kaitlyn here? He texted this morning to say that the movie night is at 7:30.”

“That’s –” Scott stops to cough, leaning away from her and pulling the crook of his elbow up to his mouth – like people do when they sneeze – before he turns back to her. When he speaks next, his voice sounds even scratchier, and he winces as he talks. “I thought that was tomorrow.”

“Nope, it’s today. Have you told him you’re sick? I’m sure Andrew would reschedule, it’s not a big deal.”

He fixes her with a stare so intense that she feels his eyes burning into hers as if they’re reaching inside her soul. She feels exposed, and a shiver runs down her spine at the thought of being vulnerable, so she shuts him out with a blink, breaking the eye contact.

“Come on in, T. Clearly you don’t know how seriously Andrew takes his movie nights, especially the week before Halloween,” he answers, stepping back into the apartment, but not closing the door, an invitation for her to follow him.

Tessa doesn’t know what to say, instead swallows loudly at the tone of his voice. She hadn’t meant to upset him.

Scott stops and turns around, running a hand through his hair as he looks at her with that same stare, although this one is softer and less guarded. “I – I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, and I know you didn’t, either. He and Kaitlyn are sitting on the couch, I’m going to head back to sleep.”

He starts in the direction of the hallway, which his room is at the end of, without another word.

She watches him go, listens as his bedroom door shuts with a soft click, before heading to the living room, where Kaitlyn and Andrew are cuddled next to each other, some horror movie playing out in front of them.

Andrew turns his head to look at her. The room is dark, and the white glow of the TV casts strange shadows on his face. She can see when he smiles at her, though. “Hey, Tessa!”

“Hi guys!”

“We’re going to watch _It_ after this,” Kaitlyn tells her as she heads over to sit on the armchair next to the couch.

“I haven’t seen _It_ ,” Tessa replies, biting her lip to keep from crying out when there’s a jump scare on-screen.

“I think you’ll like it,” Andrew says, sounding sure. 

She doesn’t feel the same. “We’ll see, I guess.”

As Kaitlyn is putting the movie into the DVD player, Scott emerges from his room, causing Tessa to yelp in surprise.

He peers at her, eyes wide, like he’s trying to hold in laughter. “You all right, T?”

“Yep,” she manages, refusing to meet his eye.

It’s only when he’s standing in the kitchen, coughing loudly, that she glances over at him, her gaze flickering his dark figure, just outside the glow of the TV.

“Are you okay, Scott?”

“Not feeling the best, honestly,” he replies, as the microwave beeps (it isn’t until now that she realizes he put anything in the microwave). He walks back to his room a few minutes later, a bowl in his hands.

A few hours later, once they've moved on to _The Shining_ , she looks over at Kaitlyn and Andrew, who are talking about how good _It: Chapter Two_ was (which, based on their conversation, they saw last week), and stands up to go to the bathroom.

“You should go check on Scott,” Andrew tells her, noticing that she’s stood up.

“Okay.”

When Tessa passes Scott’s room on her way back from the bathroom a few minutes later, she sees that his door is cracked and there’s warm, yellow light spilling into the hallway.

She knocks once on his door, not expecting an answer.

“Come in.”

With that, she pushes the door open to see Scott sitting on his bed, back against the pillows. There’s a bowl of soup in his lap and a movie plays on his laptop in front of him. She’s seen his room once before, when she came over here that night, he was playing the music really loud and wouldn’t turn it off. 

That time, she wasn’t standing in his room, like she is now. She sees a few posters for famous books: _The Hunger Games_ , and _Harry Potter_ are the only two that she can see.

“Hey, T, what’s up?”

“Just wanted to see how you’re doing,” she replies, stepping into his rom as he gestures for her to sit on the edge of his bed.

And, well, that’s not the only reason, but she’s not about to tell him that Kaitlyn and Andrew’s movie choices are too scary for her.

He nods slowly. “Are those movies too scary for you?”

_Damn._

She'd hoped he wouldn't ask.

She sits down on his bed, next to his laptop, which is paused on a scene from a movie she doesn’t recognize. “Maybe. What movie is this?”

“Answering the question with a question, I see how it is,” he laughs quietly, reaching over to unpause the movie. He accidentally brushes her arm in the process, mumbling a quiet sorry after he does so. “This is _Bridget Jones’s Diary_.”

“No, it’s not that. I was just curious.” She takes a deep breath and turns to look at him. “I’m afraid of scary movies, actually. I’d much rather watch a historical drama, a comedy, or the _Great British Bake Off_. I haven’t seen this movie though, is it good?”

“ _Bake Off_ is so good,” he agrees, smiling at her. “It always helps me relax after a long day. Yeah, I love this movie, it’s one of my favorites. It’s hilarious, but I’m watching it right now for my modern/classic romance class.”

She doesn’t answer as the movie starts up again, too busy watching as Bridget sees Mark Darcy, her former childhood friend, at her parents’ New Year’s party. They instantly hate each other, which reminds Tessa of her and Scott.

She laughs, but immediately stops once she realizes that Mark is one of Bridget’s love interests.

_That_ doesn’t remind of her of her and Scott.

Tessa watches as the events of the movie unfold, completely forgetting all about how Kaitlyn and Andrew are watching horror films in the next room and she’s (technically) supposed to be with them, even though Andrew told her to check on his friend.

Once the credits roll, Scott shuts his laptop. “What’d you think, T? We’re Bridget and Mark, right?”

A cheesy grin spreads across his lips and she snorts, shaking her head. 

“The only way we’re similar to them is because we hated each other when we first met.”

“Sure, but they didn’t hate each other by the end,” he remarks, a twinkle in his eye.

She has no idea why she’s trying to compare them to Bridget and Mark, because they’re not . . . just, no. She’s not interested in Scott in any way except the friendship one.

“What, are you in love with me or something?” she teases, mirth dancing behind her eyes and a grin playing at the corners of her lips.

“No, not at all,” Scott says coolly, leaning back against the pillows and if she didn’t know better, she’d say that he was lying. But she doesn’t know him well enough yet to pick up on that sort of thing. “We are friends though, right?”

“Yeah,” she replies, no longer unsure of that fact, and then she notices the clock on his nightstand. She can’t believe it’s almost two in the morning and judging by the way Scott keeps closing his eyes and then blinking them quickly open like he doesn’t want to go to sleep just yet, he can’t believe it either.

“Good,” he answers tiredly.

“Hey, I’m going to head back, okay? You need to get as much sleep as you can and I’m pretty tired, too.”

“‘Night, T.” Scott’s voice is already thick with sleep, and his eyes flutter closed.

Tessa smiles as she stands, pulls his comforter over him, and turns out the lamp next to his bed. “Goodnight, Scott.”

Closing the door on her way out, she goes to the living room, only to see that the TV is off. Kaitlyn and Andrew are sitting on the couch, talking quietly.

“Hey, sorry I ditched you guys,” she tells them, feeling guilty since it was Kaitlyn that invited her over in the first place and not Scott.

“You didn’t!” Andrew says, “We know that you’re not the biggest fans of scary movies, Tessa. We saw you hiding behind your hands the whole time,” he continues with a laugh, and she grins sheepishly. “It’s honestly okay, don’t even worry about it. Besides, I told you to check on him and make sure that he was feeling okay.”

“Seriously, Tess, I can see that you feel bad, and you shouldn’t!” Kaitlyn adds with a reassuring smile.

“Okay. It’s just that I don’t like being scared. Comedies and the _Great British Bake Off_ are more my speed, honestly.”

“I love watching _Bake Off_!” Andrew exclaims, and his girlfriend rolls her eyes but laughs in agreement.

“We’ll have to watch it next week.”

“Yeah, do you guys want to come over?” she offers, relieved when the two nod.

“If Scott’s feeling better, do you care if I invite him?” Scott’s roommate asks.

Tessa smiles. “Yeah, we’re friends now, so that would be fun.”

She giggles as they look at her in surprise. “Yeah, if you had told me then that we would be friends now, I wouldn’t believe you. Goodnight, I’ll see you next week!”

“Goodnight, Tessa,” her friends chorus in unison, and she hears their peals of laughter as she opens the door and walks to her own room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much so reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Feel free to tell me what you think, or you can follow me on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/hwrites_)!


	6. chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A power outage leads to Tessa and Scott totally platonically sharing a bed.
> 
> Tessa spends way too long wondering why he calls her the various nicknames that he does.

After Tessa gets home from class a few weeks later, she immediately starts working on her dress for her design class. 

She’s in the middle of tweaking the sketch a few hours later, erasing something, the back of her pencil rough against the thick paper, when the light in her room goes out, bathing the room in darkness.

Tuesday’s are her late day, she gets done at seven, which means that it’s already dark outside.

Her phone starts ringing from where it sits next to her. She reaches it just before the ringing stops, brings it to her ear.

“Hey, Jenny,” she answers, having seen the name on the screen before she answered.

“Hi, Tessa! Just wanted to let you know that I won’t be home tonight. My cousin came into town and I haven’t seen her in a while, so I’m going to stay with her tonight.”

“Oh, okay! Have fun!” She doesn’t bother telling her roommate about the power, thinking that it will come back on soon.

“Thanks, have a good night! Bye!”

As it turns out, the power doesn’t come back on. It’s nearing eleven now, and she doesn’t like the fact that she’s at her apartment by herself, it’s cold and dark.

So, she heads next door and knocks, not expecting an answer.

“T?” Scott asks tiredly. “What’s up?”

“I woke you up, didn’t I? Oh, shit, I’m so –”

He shakes his head, interrupting her spiel. “Don’t even worry about it.”

“Okay. Well, um, our power’s been out, and I was just wondering if yours has been, too?”

“Yeah. It’s just me here, though. Andrew went home for the night because he doesn’t have any classes tomorrow, they all got cancelled.”

“I’m the only one here, too. Jenny went to stay with her cousin who’s in town. Well, sorry again I woke you up! Bye!” Her voice rises an octave at that last part as she throws her hand up behind her in an awkward wave, and she cringes internally.

She turns to leave, but Scott lays a hand on her shoulder, turning her around.

“Do you want to stay here? I don’t really like being here by myself, especially when it’s cold.”

Tessa isn’t sure if he’s asking for her benefit (she knows that she’s a truly terrible liar and also that she’d really rather not spend the night cold and alone in her apartment, even though she has before) or his own, but she’s grateful either way. Relief floods through her and she gives him a soft smile. “Yeah, that sounds great.”

He opens the door wider to let her in, and she accidentally brushes his arm when she passes him.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, hearing as he closes the door behind her as she makes her way to the living room. “I can take the couch.”

“T, don’t be ridiculous. Come stay in room, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

She turns around to look at him, except she can only see his outline in the darkness. Taking a step forward, she reaches out to grab his arm, but yanks her hand away when it lands on his chest.

“Scott.” Her voice is soft as she moves her hand from his chest to his arm, her original destination. “You’re not going to sleep on the floor, we can just share the bed. It will be fine, right?”

There’s half a second of silence before he answers, and since she can’t see his face, Tessa has convinced herself that he’s going to think that the idea is ridiculous.

“Yeah, okay. That works.”

He starts down the hallway to his room and she follows after him.

“It was funny, I got home late from class today – Tuesday’s are my late day – and I was just working on my design project when all of a sudden, the power went out. Were you here when it happened?”

“Yeah,” he answers quietly, and that’s when she remembers that she woke him up, which means that he was asleep when it happened, maybe. He’s probably still really tired and not in the mood to talk.

He climbs into his bed and looks at her, the covers pulled back so that she can crawl under them.

Once Tessa is under the covers, she’s struck by how close they are, how tiny this twin bed is. 

She’s known that the bed is tiny, considering she has an identical one next door, but she’s never shared it with another person.. The other day, when she was here and the two of them were watching a movie, he was sitting at the top of his bed, against the pillows, while she was closer to where his laptop sat at the foot of his bed.

“Goodnight,” she whispers, hearing his even breathing from next to her, thinking that he’s asleep.

He’s apparently not asleep because he turns on his side, facing her now instead of the ceiling, and smiles at her. “Goodnight, Tess. Sorry I wasn’t very talkative today, it’s been a long day.”

She lays a hand on his arm (this time, she knows it’s his arm and not his chest, given the soft glow of the moonlight that’s coming in through his blinds) and turns on her side so that she’s facing him. “You can tell me all about it tomorrow, okay?”

Scott laughs quietly. “Looking forward to it, princess.”

 

When Tessa wakes up the next morning while it’s still dark, it takes her a second to remember why she’s not in own bed.

The power outage.

Coming over to Scott and Andrew’s apartment.

Sharing a bed with Scott.

Who is still asleep next to her.

He’s snoring softly, lying on his stomach now, his arm hanging off the edge of the bed. She moves his arm so that not hanging off the bed anymore.

Tessa’s cold, noticing that the room is significantly colder than it had been the night before, and without thinking too hard about it, she burrows closer to Scott, falling back into an easy sleep.

And then she wakes up again a few hours later, the clock on her phone reading 7:38.

“Classes have been cancelled today.” Scott’s voice comes from behind her, somewhere near her ear, raspy and thick with sleep. “Campus doesn’t have any power.”

She nods, turning around to look at him. His eyes are closed but his mouth is quirked up in a small smile. 

“Okay.”

For some reason, his shoulders shake with laughter at that, and he opens his eyes, staring at her with bright brown orbs.

She stares at him. “What?”

“People are usually excited when school is cancelled. It means a day off.”

This only makes her shake her head. “It’s not a day off, Scott. I have to finish this project, there’s another deadline next week, and–”

“Tessa.” With that one word, her name coming softly from his lips, it shuts her up. “You need a break. Or else you’re going to be consumed by the stress of your schoolwork. You deserve to take a day off and have a little fun, right?”

“Right,” she echoes, feeling like she doesn’t entirely believe him.

Scott sits up, propping his head up on his hand. “Which is why we’re going to spend the day together.”

“What–? No, that’s really – you honestly don’t have to do that, Scott,” she sputters, feeling like an idiot.

Her friend only raises his eyebrows. “You’re meaning to tell me that if you go home, back to your empty apartment, you’re not going to work on your homework?”

Well, okay. If he’s going to put it like _that_ . . . she supposes she can’t argue. Tessa’s idea of a break isn’t to watch Netflix or something to rest her brain, it’s shifting from project to project to give herself a break from working on the same thing. 

And the thought of going to her apartment and working on her project is enough to give her a headache.

Which means that, as much as she’d like to disagree, Scott’s right.

“Okay,” she rolls her eyes as she smiles, “You got me. I’ll spend the day with you.”

“Don’t sound too excited, T.” He shakes his head with a snort, knowing that she’s only kidding.

“We need a plan, though.”

He mumbles something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like of course we do, but she chooses to ignore it.

“I’m going to run next door and change, and then maybe we can find somewhere within walking distance that has power so that we can go eat.”

“Sounds good. Also, I have to watch the next two Bridget Jones movies for my rom-com class, so maybe we can do that?”

She thinks about it for a second. Now that she is, spending the day with Scott (something that she once would have flat-out refused to do, it’s funny how things change), sounds like it’s going to be fun. She likes that they are making an effort to spend more time together and really get to know each other, it’s nice.

“Okay,” Tessa finds herself agreeing, nodding along, “Wait. Isn’t that homework?”

“Yes . . .?”

“If I’m not allowed to do homework, you shouldn’t be, either.”

“T, there’s a difference between watching a movie for homework and building an entire dress from scratch. Doesn’t watching movies relax you?”

“I guess, although not if they’re horror films.”

He reaches up a hand to run it through his hair, almost hitting her in the face with his elbow. “Yeah. All right, that plan sounds good. Should we take, like, half an hour?”

“Sure. You’re not worried I’m going to work on my homework, are you?” she teases.

“Maybe a little bit,” he admits with a shrug, the glimmer in his eye telling her that he’s teasing right back.

Tessa stands up and stretches, tells him that she’ll see him in half an hour before walking out the door.

She knocks on the door a little under half an hour later. He opens the door, looking down at his phone.

“Hey,” she greets, and it takes him a second to look up.

Once he does, he smiles, but there’s something off about it. His smiles usually light up his face, always reach his eyes, but with this one, none of that happens. 

Not that Tessa is an expert on Scott’s facial expressions or anything (that would be weird, they’re just now becoming close friends), that’s just something she happens to notice.

“Oh, hey, T,” he replies, sounding distracted, even as he pockets his phone. Like he isn’t expecting to see her standing in front of him despite the fact that they agreed on half an hour.

“What’s up?” she asks as she follows him to the living room, sits down next to him on the couch.

“Um, well,” he pauses, scratches at his head, and that’s when she knows that something is definitely up. “Jenny asked me out. On a date.”

She blinks. “Jenny? Like . . . my roommate, Jenny?”

Jenny had mentioned a few weeks ago that she wanted to get back into dating and – 

“Yeah, your roommate Jenny. If that makes you uncomfortable, I don’t have to say yes.”

“Why would that make me uncomfortable?” Tessa asks, genuinely curious.

“I don’t know,” he answers, sounding like she should know.

“Do you want to go out with her?”

“I haven’t been on a date in a long time.”

She snorts. “What, are you afraid you’ll mess it up?”

“No! No, it’s just . . . I guess I do feel weird about it,” he admits, then looks like he immediately regrets it, although Tessa has no idea why.

She honestly doesn’t know why this whole conversation is even happening, because why would she care if Scott dated Jenny? It’s not like she and Jenny aren’t particularly close.

“Why?”

“Well, for starters, she’s my neighbor. Isn’t it a bit weird to date your neighbor?”

“I don’t think so. Scott, you know that you don’t have to go on this date, right? I’m sure Jenny will be okay about it.”

“Of course. Yeah. That totally makes sense.” He gives her another smile, physically deflating with relief, like that’s the answer he was looking for.

With that, they watch the next to Bridget Jones movies, and halfway through, he turns to her, tickles her side.

She laughs, falling backward onto the couch and covering her face with her hands as her hair falls over her hands. “Scott! What’s that for, you know I’m really ticklish!”

“I didn’t, actually,” he quips, and he peels her hands off of her face, taking them in his own. 

Through her hair, she can see that he’s looking at her in the funniest way. What way that is, she doesn’t know.

“So, about yesterday,” he starts, “Sorry when you got here, I wasn’t the most talkative. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and couldn’t go back to sleep. And then Andrew came into my room and told me how he’s going to propose to Kaitlyn next week, which he’s super nervous for – ”

“Oh my God!” Tessa practically squeals, pulling her hands out of Scott’s and clapping them over her mouth. “Andrew’s going to propose?!”

“I shouldn’t have said that,” he answers immediately, shaking his head. “No offense, T, but we both know that you’re . . . not the best at lying, so you cannot say anything to Kaitlyn. Please.”

She mimes zipping her lips and presses the imaginary key into his palm, closing his fingers around it with a smile. “Who’s getting married?”

Scott grins, and the way that he’s sitting, with his back to the lamp beside the couch, makes him look like he’s blushing. “Exactly. Anyway, so after that, I had my romance class, which honestly is an . . . interesting class, to say the least.”

“Don’t you just watch movies? Sounds pretty awesome to me.”

“Well, we have an assignment due next week and I don’t know what to do about it.”

“What do you have to do? Maybe I could help.”

A look passes over his face, like he might actually want her help, but then it’s gone before she can decipher it anymore. “I have to write a love letter and include a Shakespeare quote.”

Tessa peers at him for a second, trying to figure out if he’s serious. When his composure doesn’t change, she can’t hide the smile that creeps up on her lips. “That’s a little ridiculous.”

“I know! We’re getting _graded_ on this, Tess! What the hell am I going to do?”

“Write the poem, you don’t really have a choice. It’s just one poem, it’s not like you actually have to buy flowers or something.”

“Yeah, that’s true. But, still! I’m not trying to woo anyone!”

“Wait, I thought that’s why you took this class?”

“I want to be more romantic, not get married! Wooing means that you, like, want to get married to that person. So, if I were to woo you, that means I’d ask for your hand in marriage by the end of it.”

Tessa lifts an eyebrow in question. “My hand in marriage?”

Scott rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I know. But, the purpose of this class is designed to compare the modern methods of dating, asking people out, to the classic types. Like, letter writing. No one really writes letters anymore.”

“Peter did to Lara Jean.”

Now he looks confused. “Who? What?”

Her jaw drops. “You mean to tell me that you’re literally in a class where you watch rom-coms and you haven’t watched To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before?!”

“Um, no?”

“It’s a Netflix movie, we should watch it.”

“Okay.” He agrees without hesitation. “Let’s watch it.”

So, they do.

“I’ll see you on Friday in psych, yeah? Thanks for letting me stay over, and for hanging out with me,” she says two hours later, once the movie is over.

“Any time, T.” Scott walks her to the door. “I really like hanging out with you.”

She smiles at him, noticing how much more relaxed he’s been since they talked about Jenny. “I like hanging out with you, too.”

“Hey, Tessa,” Jenny says, looking up from her phone, as Tessa walks through the door.

“Oh, hey! How was hanging out with your cousin?” she replies with a smile, dropping her bag onto the ground and slumping into the vacant chair next to Jenny.

“It was good! I haven’t seen her in a while, so it was nice to get to spend time with her. Did you do anything?”

“I hung out with Scott. We watched a few movies for one of his classes.”

“Cool.” Her roommate turns back to where she’d been playing on her phone and says nothing more. “I asked Scott if he wanted to hang out because we have a test in our modern and classics romance class next week, but he said no. I also have to write a poem, but that can wait until . . .”

She continues on, but Tessa’s mind is stuck on one thing. Scott told her that Jenny asked him out on a date, not that she asked him to hang out. “What?”

“Yeah, it’s due next Tuesday and I really don’t know what I’m going to write it on.”

“No, not that. The hanging out thing. I thought – he thought – Scott told me that you asked him out on a date,” she finishes lamely.

There’s a second of silence before Jenny throws her head back and laughs.

“That’s funny. I just asked if he wanted to hang out, and he said no. I put together a writing group so that we can work on our sonnets and I thought he’d like to be in it. But, like, it’s fine.”

“So you wouldn’t date Scott?”

Jenny shakes her head. Tessa doesn’t have a clue as to why she’s asking.

“No, he’s said in class before that he’s looking for something more long-term and I’ve discovered that I’m not looking for anything right now.”

“Wait, I thought you said you wanted to date again.”

Jenny shrugs. “I thought so, but I’ve gone on a couple of dates over the past few weeks, and it turns out I’m not as over Lawrence as I thought.”

Tessa nods along with her words. “I’ve never been in a relationship, so I don’t know how long it takes to get over someone.”

“Honestly, it depends on the person, and what the relationship was like.”

“That makes sense.”

And the fact that Scott misunderstood Jenny's text completely slips from her mind as she walks to her room.

 

The next day, in psychology, Scott slides a piece of folded notebook paper across the table to Tessa. The lecture hall that they have the class in is made up of several dark wooden tables, all arranged in rows to the back of the room, and the two of them have been sitting at the same table in the fourth row for a little while.

She unfolds it slowly, careful to keep an eye on their professor to make sure he doesn’t notice that she isn’t paying attention.

_I haven’t picked a Shakespeare quote yet for my poem, will you help me after class?_

**Yeah** , she writes back, **we can go to the library.**

He nods in her direction once he’s opened the note.

Once class is over, Scott waits for Tessa as she packs up her bag, standing by the table and typing out something on his phone.

“Ready?” she asks him, turning around to look at him as she swings her bag over her shoulder.

“Whenever you are, princess,” he replies without looking up.

It’s almost as if that nickname has become second nature for him now, like he doesn’t even realize that he’s said it. In the beginning it really annoyed her because she knew he was only saying that to get under her skin, but now that they don’t hate each other and are, in fact, close friends, she doesn’t know how she feels about it.

She doesn’t know why he calls her that, but when her brain reminds her that it’s just a nickname, Tessa, there’s no reason to overthink it, she decides that she should just stop thinking about it.

So, she tries to forget about it as they’re walking to the library, and later when they’re walking home, but she can’t. 

The sun set long ago so now it’s dark and everything around them is quiet except for where Scott is talking on the phone. 

Tessa is too busy staring at the moon like it will hold all the answers to realize that she’s stopped and is standing still, just staring at the moon.

“T? Is something wrong?” Scott asks from a little further up on the sidewalk.

She looks down at him just as he’s tucking his phone into his pocket. He’s bathed in moonlight and even now, she can see the crease in-between his eyebrows and the slight frown on his lips.

“Sorry.” She hurries to catch up, grinning sheepishly at him. “I was just thinking.”

“What about?”

She shrugs, finding that despite how earlier, she wanted to ask about the nickname, right now Tessa doesn’t want to bring it up. She shouldn’t have been thinking about it in the first place. 

It’s just a nickname, it probably doesn’t even mean anything. It’s like when her family calls her Tess, they just mean it as a way to shorten her name. And even when Scott calls her T, that’s just a shortened version of Tessa. 

Princess is just something that he calls her because they’re friends and friends have nicknames for each other sometimes.

At least that’s what Tessa tells herself as she resolves not to think about it anymore.  
It’s not like he’s calling her honey or sweetheart or anything along those lines, because that’s definitely venturing away from nickname territory and into pet name territory, something Tessa is pretty sure friends don’t do.

“Well,” he laces their fingers together, pulling her from her thoughts, and she finds herself watching their arms swing in tandem between them. “In case you remember and you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

“Thanks, Scott. The same goes for you.” She smiles although it doesn’t feel real or natural. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything. “I’m just really tired tonight is all.”

Her friend returns the smile. “No worries, T. You don’t ever have to explain yourself to me.”

All she can do is nod, even if she doesn’t know how to explain why she’s been spending the whole day thinking about a nickname. It just doesn’t make any sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! It really means a lot to me that so many of you are liking this story.
> 
> From here on out updates will be on Sundays unless otherwise noted. 
> 
> I have a really busy weekend planned and wasn't sure if I'd be able to post this on Sunday, so here's an early update!
> 
> And feel free to leave a comment telling me what you think, I love hearing from you! Have a good weekend!


	7. chapter seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa overthinks.

As she’s getting ready for class a few days later, Tessa looks down at her phone to see a text.

_Scott | 8:21 a.m._

_Hey, T! We’re still meeting to work on homework tonight at 5, right?_

She nods, like he’s right in front of her. But then she remembers that no, he isn’t in front of her, he’s probably next door or in class already, so she types out a quick reply.

**Tessa | 8:22 a.m.**

**Yeah, 5 works for me!**

With that, she sets her phone back down and finishes her morning routine, brushing out her hair.

She has a big project due soon and he has an essay to write for one of his classes, so Scott had suggested that they get together to work on their homework. (“Working on homework,” he’d reasoned yesterday in psychology when she’d asked, “is better when you’re doing it with a friend, even if you’re not working on the same thing.” 

And, honestly, she’d had no reason to argue with that, simply because it’s true.)

Once Tessa is done with her morning routine she heads to class, the morning November air slightly chilly. 

To think that, two months ago she wouldn’t have even wanted to _talk_ to Scott, now they hang out a lot, text almost every day. 

She genuinely likes Scott’s company, yet another thing she’d never thought she’d say. He has a way of making her laugh whenever she’s feeling super stressed about school, always listens to whatever it is she has to say whether it be serious or silly, and Tessa is just so glad that they moved past that first few months of hating each other and are now really good friends.

Her first class is her design class, the one that she has a project due in. She’s also designing a piece for the campus fashion show at the end of the month, which she hasn’t gotten done yet.

Tessa sets her stuff down at her usual workstation, and rifles through her sketchbook for the sketch that she needs. She’s about halfway done with the project, the dress with the lace on the sleeves. Today, her professor is going to come around and talk to everyone about their thought processes and what the finished product is going to look like.

Now if only she could find her sketches . . . She remembers seeing them last night when she was working on the project, so they’re still in her sketchbook. But as she searches the pages, she realizes that she’s brought her extra sketchbook, the one she hasn’t used yet.

And she needs the one that she has used because it has all of her current sketches in it. Her professor, a tall woman with long blonde hair who’d insisted, “Class, please call me by my first name, Zoey,” had been very adamant about the fact that they have the sketch for their seasonal piece done so that she can take a look at it and suggest improvements if necessary.

Tessa looks around the design studio; it’s a large room with dove grey walls and all-white furniture and accents of black and hot pink. There are eight workstations, four on the left and four on the right. Each workstation has a desk with drawers to store everything in, as well as access to the floor-to-ceiling cabinets on the wall, which have a chalkboard on the front with the workstation occupants’ name. Inside of the cabinets are the fabrics needed for every designer’s piece, a sewing machine, extra colored pencils, and a mannequin which everyone builds their pieces on.

She rushes over to her own cabinet, _Tessa_ written on it in her loopy handwriting. She doesn’t know what she’s hoping to find, another sketchbook maybe. She doesn’t have time to redraw the sketch in an extra sketchbook though, so she abandons that idea pretty quickly.

“Tessa, is everything okay?”

She turns around to see Kaitlyn getting settled into her station, the one directly behind hers. Her friend looks concerned as she walks over to the cabinet near her station and takes out her mannequin. Kaitlyn had said during the last class that today she’s sewing the patches onto the jean jacket, while Tessa had said that she’s going to put the red fabric on the underside of her dress and attach the bottom piece to the top.

“I brought the wrong sketchbook. This one is empty, and the one that I need here is at home, which – ”

She stops talking and runs over to the cabinet again, digs her phone out of her bag from where it’s hung on the back of the door, and scrolls through her contact list to find the number she’s looking for. Jenny leaves for class before her or else Tessa would ask her, but Scott should still be at home, if she’s remembering his schedule correctly.

He picks up on the fourth ring. “Hey, T, what’s up?”

“I need you to do me the biggest favor ever. I brought the wrong sketchbook to class with me, and if you’re not doing anything right now, can you – ”

“Absolutely,” he answers immediately, presumably knowing what the question is going to be. “Is the spare key still taped to the back of the welcome mat?”

She breathes out a sigh of relief. “Yeah. Thank you so much, Scott. You have no idea how much you’ve just saved my grade.”

“Any time, T. I’ll see you in ten.”

 

Scott arrives nine minutes and thirty seconds later, not that Tessa is counting. He’s slightly out of breath, she notices, as he heads over to her station once he’s spotted her.

He’s got her sketchbook in one hand and a brown paper bag in the other, which he hands to her after he sets the sketchbook down on the desk. 

“I brought you breakfast,” he says by way of greeting, and she grins at him, comes around the side of the table to wrap him in a tight hug.

“You’re my favorite person ever, Scott Moir. I can’t thank you enough, honestly.”

Someone clears their throat from behind her. 

She pulls away from the hug and turns around to see her professor standing there, disapproval etched on her face.

“Ms. Virtue,” Zoey states in a clipped tone, “Class started five minutes ago, I’ll have to ask your boyfriend to leave.”

Tessa blinks, the smile she’d given Scott fading as blush creeps onto her face. She doesn’t like being the center of attention and she can feel the whole class staring at her. “O-Of course.”

She feels Scott’s fingers tap her arm and she turns around to face him.

His eyes are soft when she looks at them and he gives her a slight smile, avoiding eye contact with Zoey, who is still standing there. “I’ll see you later, T. Don’t worry.”

And with that, he waves and jogs out of the studio.

“That was intense,” Kaitlyn tells her once their professor has crossed the studio to look over someone else’s work.

“Yeah, I know. She can be intimidating.” Tessa still feels mortified (but at least the blush has faded), and she didn’t even technically get in trouble.

“Right. I didn’t know you and Scott were dating, when did that start?”

“Oh! We’re just friends, he’s not my boyfriend.”

Kaitlyn arches her eyebrow. “Zoey said, ‘your boyfriend’ and you didn’t deny it. Do you want him to be your boyfriend?”

“I don’t have a crush on him, if that’s what you’re asking. I’m completely and totally unaffected by Scott Moir’s charms,” she announces.

Her friend gives her a look, eyebrow still raised, that seems to say, we’ll see, which she ignores, because like, duh. She’s not going to fall for her best friend, that’s a fact that she’s positive of.

She turns back to her station and remembers that Scott brought her breakfast, as if he knew she’d forgotten to eat this morning. She peers into the paper bag to see a chocolate chip bagel smothered in cream cheese, along with a napkin folded on top.

Tessa eats the bagel while she looks over the sketch, pausing to look at the napkin once she’s finished eating.

 _I know you’re a little nervous about this project, T, but don’t be! You’ve worked so hard on it. You got this. See you later! – Scott_ it reads, which makes her heart burst.

 **Got your note** , she types out a text after making sure Zoey isn’t looking, **you’re sweet. So glad you’re my best friend, Scott!**

He responds instantly. _Ditto, princess. :)_

Zoey walks over to her just as she’s putting her phone away and grabbed onto the roll of red fabric.

“Hi, Tessa,” she greets, looking sheepish. Zoey is super nice, despite the impression she gave off earlier. “I’m very sorry about earlier, I hope I didn’t scare you too much.”

Tessa smiles back. “A little,” she admits, “But it’s okay! I meant to explain the situation to you earlier, but I didn’t see you before Scott got here. I brought the wrong sketchbook to class and he was nice enough to bring it for me.”

Her professor nods and walks around the mannequin to look over the work she’s done so far. “This is beautiful, may I see your sketch?”

“Yeah, absolutely.” She grabs the sketchbook and hands it over, her hand shaking as she does so.

“And from what I’m seeing here, there’s going to be red underneath. That’s what you’re doing today, judging by the fabric on the table, yes?”

She nods as Zoey looks back to the page, nervous to know what her professor is thinking, what she has to say.

“It looks really great! I have one question though.”

Her heart rate speeds up as Zoey sets the sketchbook on the table. “Yes?”

“Have you thought about adding lace at the bottom edge of the dress, to match the sleeves?”

“I haven’t, but that’s a really, really great idea. Thank you, I’ll think about doing that.”

Her professor smiles. “Keep up the good work, Tessa.”

Tessa gets back to work, cutting out the correct measurement of red fabric and placing it on top of the black fabric. She then sews the two pieces together, which takes the majority of the class period. After that’s done, she makes sure that she has extra black lace to sew onto the outside of the dress.

She does, so she gets to work sewing that on and then attaches the bottom piece to the top, just as Zoey calls the end of class and the people around her start packing up.

 

Scott knocks on her front door at exactly five o’clock, and Tessa smiles as she opens it.

“Hey!”

He smiles in greeting but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, the normally bright light in them dimmer than usual. “What’s up, Tessa?”

Okay, she’d be lying if she said that it isn’t weird that he calls her by her whole name. It’s mostly Tess or T or – on rare occasion – princess, but he hasn’t called her Tessa in a long time. She can’t remember specifically when the last time was but knows that it was, more likely than not, when they still hated each other.

She gives him a concerned look before answering his question. “Not much, how’s your essay coming?”

She’s decided not to ask him about it for now; she doesn’t even know what she would say. _Hey Scott, why didn’t you call me a nickname?_ doesn’t seem like a very great question.

He’d probably just be weirded out. Besides, she doesn’t even know why she’d be asking.

Not to mention that she has a tendency of overthinking things and this is probably (most definitely) something that she’s overthinking. It doesn’t mean he’s mad at her if he uses her whole name, it’s just one extra syllable that she gets to hear roll off of his tongue with practiced ease, like he’s been saying her name for his whole life.

Wait.

No.

That’s not what she means! Scott certainly hasn’t been saying her name his whole life because they’ve only known each other a few months and, like, that would just be weird. Unless he knows another Tessa, but she doesn’t think that he does.

There’s a lot that she doesn’t know about him. His parents’ names, where he’s from, how many siblings he has, if he’s single, even though Kaitlyn had said that he’s only had one girlfriend. Maybe he’s seeing someone, and he just hasn’t said anything.

Nope. She shuts up that part of her brain. Tessa doesn’t even care if he’s seeing someone!  
It’s not like she’s interested in him and his stupidly stunning brown eyes!

Shit.

She just said his eyes were stunning. Well, not aloud, but in her head. Which is surely breaking all kinds of friendship rules.

“Oh, good,” he replies, and it takes Tessa a second to catch up, remember that he’s answering her question. “I haven’t gotten too much into it; maybe you could help me?”

“Depends what it’s on,” she quips as she follows him to her room, watching as he flicks on the lamp. “Let me guess, it’s for your modern romance class?”

He turns around to look at her and she’s struck with how handsome. “How’d you know? You’re so smart, T.”

“Just a lucky girl,” she mutters, meeting his confused gaze as she blushes. “Guess! I meant it was a lucky _guess_!”

Scott only raises his eyebrows and looks at her in a way that she can’t decipher but it makes her heart flutter. “Something on your mind?”

“No.”

“You sure about that?”

“. . . No.”

“No there’s nothing on your mind or no you’re not sure?”

“I’m not sure,” she confesses.

“What aren’t you sure about?”

Tessa pauses. What exactly isn’t she sure about? She knows that she doesn’t like him, because _that’s_ ridiculous, but yet she can’t shake the feeling that something between them is different.

He’s looking at her differently, she thinks.

“I don’t know” is what eventually comes out of her mouth, because it’s the truth. She doesn’t know what she’s not sure about.

She just knows that she doesn’t have feelings for him. He’s her best friend and that means too much to her to try and turn into something more than that.

The thought makes her head spin.

“Have you ever been in love?” Scott blurts out and, judging by the way his eyes widen and he scratches the back of his neck, he hadn’t meant to say that.

“Oh,” Tessa replies faintly, trying not to appear too stunned.

He looks away from her. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that.”

“Hey,” she murmurs, stepping closer to him and laying a hand on his arm. “It’s okay. I like having deep conversations with you. No, I haven’t been in love, why?”

When he glances at her, it’s with a small smile and a relaxed expression. “That’s what I have to write about for my paper.”

“That’s an awfully personal subject to have write about for a class paper.”

He laughs loudly, and his hand is warm when it covers her own. “Well, that’s not entirely true. We have to pick a classic romance couple and a modern one and compare and contrast their love stories.”

“Who did you pick?”

“That’s what I can’t decide. It has to be a couple from things that we’ve read or watched in class.”

“Why not Bridget Jones and . . . someone else?” she suggests, trying and failing to not laugh.

Scott grins at her, and the light in his eyes is bright again. Maybe it was never really dim, and it was just a trick of her imagination. “Yeah, I’ll just write in ‘someone else’ instead of, you know, two names.”

He’s laughing again, the sound so delightful that she wants to make him laugh and laugh until the end of time.

In a totally friendly way, obviously.

“Hey, wasn’t it so awkward that Zoey called you my boyfriend earlier?”

“She did? I honestly didn’t notice; I was too busy trying not to cower under her intense gaze.”

Tessa snorts. “I didn’t realize it either, not until Kaitlyn said something to me about it.”

“Huh,” he replies, looking dazed, and returns to typing on his laptop without another word.

Why can’t he be a math major or something? Write papers using graphs and statistics instead of waxing poetic about love.

It certainly isn’t helping her come to terms with her feelings, helping him working on these essays.

Well, no, she doesn’t _have_ to come to terms with her feelings, because there aren’t any, right?

As she stares at the ceiling while trying to fall asleep that night, she isn’t so sure that the answer is no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins . . .
> 
> Happy Sunday, thank you for reading! There's only a few more chapters left! Any guesses as to what's going to happen?
> 
> Question: how do you feel about social media in fics? For example, screenshots of tweets, instagram posts, etc. I'm thinking about doing it for my next fic and wanted to get input on it. Does it take you out of the story?
> 
> Let me know in the comments, thanks!


	8. chapter eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa goes home for the weekend.

“I can’t wait to see you tomorrow!” Jordan’s excited voice floats over Tessa’s phone speaker a week later. It’s Friday, and she leaves to go home for the weekend in about an hour. “It’s been so long!”

“It has,” Tessa laughs. Her phone is sitting on her desk while she throws clothes into a tiny carry-on suitcase. “I feel like it’s been a whole year, even though it’s only been a few months.”

“We’re still having Girls Night on Saturday, right?”

She can’t believe that she hasn’t been home once since the start of the school year three months ago. Given that she goes to school a few hours away from home and doesn’t have a car on campus, it makes sense, but it still feels weird. Last year, she was friends with a girl who lived in her town so the two of them would go home at least once a month. That girl transferred schools for this year, though, so gone were the weekends spent at home with Jordan and her parents.

“Of course we are, it’s tradition. Or have you forgotten?”

“No!” Jordan protests, and then they’re both giggling. They haven’t talked in so long; Tessa misses her sister, the late nights they would spend gossiping or hanging out with their friends.

The two of them hang up not long after that so that Tessa can finish packing up her stuff.

Jenny pops her head into the room as she’s throwing a pair of socks into her suitcase. “Hey, Tess. Scott’s here to see you.”

Sure enough, right when she turns around to answer her roommate, to tell her that Scott can come in, he appears.

She hasn’t seen him since last Tuesday, when they worked on their homework. In the seven days, two hours, 29 minutes, and 49 . . . 50 seconds it’s been since she’s seen him, she has been telling herself that there’s no way that she has feelings for him. Despite the fact that she thinks of him at the most random times, like when she’s on her way to class, trying to fall asleep, eating lunch, or even doing her homework. And then she would tell herself not to think of him.

Which, of course, would only make him appear in her thoughts more often.

So, as it goes, Tessa has taken to avoiding him. Well, maybe that’s not entirely right. She still answers his texts when he sends her lines of his essay to proofread, still smiles at him when she sees him in the hallway. 

Except she doesn’t sit next to him in psychology anymore, doesn’t hang out with him outside of class.

And he’s noticed, judging by the apprehensive look on his face, the way he runs his hand through his hair nervously before he speaks, once Jenny has left them alone.

_Of course he’s noticed_ , she tells herself, instantly feeling stupid.

“Hey,” Scott greets, his voice soft and guarded like he’s not sure he should be talking right now. Then his eyes flicker over to the mostly packed suitcase on her bed and he swallows thickly. “Are you going somewhere?”

“Um.” Tessa has suddenly lost the ability to form thoughts. Well, appropriate thoughts. She thinks plenty about how she’d like to march over there and kiss him right on the mouth, run her hands up and down his chest. Feel his hands at the back of her thighs as he supports her legs around his waist while they kiss.

“Yes!” she squeaks, slamming down the top half of the suitcase. “I’m going home for the weekend. Jordan and I are going to have a Girls Night.”

He nods and looks at anywhere but her. Focuses his gaze mostly on the suitcase, which she thinks is a little strange. “I haven’t heard from you in a while, is everything okay? I was going to see if you wanted to go to dinner.”

“I would, but I’m taking the bus home, so I have to be at the bus stop in half an hour.” She bites her lip in thought. “But you could walk me there if you want to.”

She misses him, even though she’s the one putting the distance between them. Tessa just isn’t sure if she wants to tell him, because she doesn’t want to damage their friendship. Doesn’t want to lose him, even if the thought of kissing him makes her want to say fuck it and see if expectation really does live up to reality.

It’s dark out when they make the trek to the bus stop from their apartment building. It isn’t long, maybe five minutes tops, but considering she hadn’t been expecting to see him tonight, the five minutes is stretched out to feel so much longer.

“Are you excited to be going home?” he asks her.

“Yeah,” she admits. “I’m really looking forward to hanging out with Jordan and spending time with my family.” And putting aside my feelings for you, she adds but doesn’t say that aloud.

Scott nods in her peripheral vision as they reach the bench where the bus stop is. There’s a cover over it in case it rains, but there’s no chance of rain tonight, so she plops down on the bench, setting her bag beside her.

“Well, I’ll see you in class when I get back,” she tells him, although it sounds more like a question.

He raises his eyebrows and licks his lips. “I was actually thinking of waiting with you. You know, to make sure that you get on the bus okay.”

Now he’s the one making statements that sound like questions, not that she minds.

“Oh yeah,” she mumbles, “I don’t know why I didn’t think of asking you that before. I guess I just don’t want to be in the way of whatever you have planned for the rest of the night. And the bus should be here soon, anyway, so you won’t have to wait long.”

“Tessa, I don’t mind waiting with you. You’re never in the way of my night, and you never have been. So don’t think that, okay?”

She nods. “Got it.”

Silence sits between them.

“I wish–” he starts, as the bus barrels down the road, its headlights bright in the darkness.

“What?” she replies, standing up as the bus rolls to a stop in front of them.

Scott gives her a look that lets her know he’s trying to smile, but he just doesn’t quite get there. It’s more of a grimace, really, although it’s not something she has time to think about because the bus driver is asking her if she has a ticket and then she identifies the look on Scott’s face: he wants to kiss her, which makes her brain short-circuit.

He looks like he wants to say something, do something, but she doesn’t have time.

“Miss, are you going to get on the bus?” comes the frustrated voice of the bus driver from behind her.

She looks back at the boy bathed in moonlight to see that he’s stuffed his hands in his pockets and is wearing a boyish grin.

“Go,” he says, nodding towards the bus. “I’ll be here when you get home.”

“Okay,” she answers softly, and the bus driver sighs in relief when she steps aboard.

It’s a fairly long bus ride, going all through the night, and she’s so tired that she can hardly keep her eyes open by the time she gets home. There’s a bus stop not far from her house, within walking distance, that she walks from. Thankfully, the front door is unlocked by the time she gets in.

Tessa briefly wonders if one of her parents or Jordan will be awake, but when she opens the door to find the house dark, she knows that everyone is asleep. It is almost four in the morning, after all. It makes sense that they would be asleep.

Her phone had died on the way home and she’d forgotten to bring a charger. She plugs it in and sets it on her nightstand, before leaving the room and heading down the hall to the bathroom. She brushes her teeth and washes her face, then just as she’s reached out her hand to turn out the light, the bathroom door creaks open.

Tessa yelps, jumping back towards the bathtub and away from the sink, where she’d been before.

“Relax, Tess, it’s just me,” her mom says quietly, appearing from behind the doorframe with a tired smile on her face as she wraps her daughter up in a hug.

“Sorry, Mom, was I being too loud?”

Kate Virtue shakes her head. “No, not at all. I had just woken up randomly and saw the light was on in the bathroom. I wanted to make sure that it was you.”

“Oh, yeah. Just me. I’m going to head to sleep now, if that’s okay.”

“Of course, dear. I know it’s late. I’m really glad you’re here for the weekend, and I know Jordan and your father are excited to see you, too.”

“I’m glad to be home with all of you,” she admits, smiling at her mom as she walks down the hallway from the bathroom back into her room.

Her phone has charged enough that by the time she climbs into bed, a text comes through.

_Scott | 9:01 p.m._

_Text me when you get home, I hope you have a good weekend._

Her first thought when she sees that text is that he’s mad at her, because he almost never uses periods at the end of his text messages.

Her second thought when she sees that text is that that’s utterly ridiculous. She has the impression that there are things they both wanted to say that will have to wait until she gets back, but other than that, she can’t think of anything she said that would have made him mad at her.

_It’s just because you like him._

Ugh, not right now. It’s too late in the morning for her to be thinking about her feelings towards one Scott Moir.

She types out a text in reply.

**Tessa | 4:19 a.m.**

**Just got in, thanks for walking me to the bus stop! Have a good weekend, Scott**

After she sees that the message has delivered, she sets her phone down, rolls over onto her other side, and falls asleep.

 

“Tessa, you’re here! Wake up, breakfast is ready!” Jordan is saying too loudly, and when Tessa opens her eyes, she sees that her older sister is standing in the doorway to her room, grinning.

“Yeah, I’m home,” she answers softly, sitting up and rubbing at her eyes. “I’ll be down in a second, okay?”

“Okay.” Jordan gives her another smile before leaving her alone.

Breakfast is a quiet affair. Jordan announces that her and Tessa’s Girls Night (which was supposed to happen when their parents were out tonight at a work dinner for her father) has turned into a Girls Day, starting with a trip to the mall right as soon as breakfast is finished.

Tessa loves shopping and even more than that, she loves spending time with her sister, so she’s pretty excited about the prospect of spending all day with Jordan.

Once they get in the car, Jordan turns down the music and glances at her while she backs out of the driveway.

“So, Tessa,” she starts, her voice cool, “Have any . . . crushes at the moment?”

She decides that she doesn’t want to be in the car anymore. If she’d known Jordan was going to ask about this, she wouldn’t have been so excited.

Then again, her and Jordan have always been close, confiding in each other about pretty much everything.

The only reason she doesn’t want to tell her sister this is because Jordan knows all about Scott, except she thinks that they still don’t like each other, doesn’t know that they’ve moved into best friends territory, with the slight possibility of something more.

“Yeah,” she admits quietly. That’s all she says.

“Well, who is it? Spill!”

“Um, remember that boy, Scott, the one that I didn’t like?”

“Yes,” her sister replies slowly. “You like him?”

“I thought he was an asshole at first, but I made an assumption about him because the first time we met wasn’t great, but now . . . he’s sweet and funny and honestly I think about kissing him way more than I should. I get happy when he’s around, even though I’ve been avoiding him for the past week because I feel like I don’t know how to talk to him anymore now that I like him.”

“So you haven’t talked to him in a week?”

“Well, he walked me to the bus stop last night and waited until the bus came to leave.”

“What else has happened? I want all the details, Tess!”

She relays details of the past few months with Scott, talks about the note and the breakfast that he gave her when he brought her sketchbook to class; how he always asks how she’s doing and never fails to make her laugh.

“Alright, do you want to know what I think?” Jordan asks, once Tessa is done talking.

“Of course.”

“I think you should tell him. Hear me out! He’s a fourth year, you’re going into your second semester, and if you tell him and he rejects you, then you don’t ever have to see him again! But if he does feel the same, you could just see each other all the time, and it would be the same.”

As much as she doesn’t want to tell Scott that she likes him, her sister makes a valid point.

So, she resolves that she’s going to tell him when she gets home after this weekend.

She just doesn’t know how, yet. Isn’t sure if she should make it a big, grand gesture or something small.  
Then, an idea starts to form, and she knows what she’s going to do, what she’s going to say.

Of course, things aren’t going to go to plan, but what ends up happening is even better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, only three chapters left! Let me know what you think, and if you'd like you can follow me on twitter at [hwrites_](https://twitter.com/hwrites_)!


	9. chapter nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tessa writes Scott a love letter.

As soon as Tessa gets off the bus Sunday night, she all but runs to her apartment building. 

The moon is her guide, and everything is blanketed varying hues of blue, her quick footsteps an accompanying metronome to the crickets singing into the night.

Ever since Friday, when she and Jordan were on their way to the mall and she told her sister about her crush on Scott, she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about him. During their trip to the mall, they flitted in and out of stores, and she kept wondering what Scott was doing. If he was working on his essay for his classic romance class, if he was thinking about her as he cited quotes in his essay from Shakespeare, Austen, Brontë, and Dickinson.

When she lay in bed that night and waited for sleep to overtake her, she remembered that night she slept beside him, the morning she woke up next to him, and how she didn’t have the slightest clue of her feelings towards him. She laid in bed for hours, tossing and turning. Every time she closed her eyes he was there, running his hand through his hair and laughing, looking at her with a crooked smile and shining eyes.

Stars wink at her as she swipes her student ID to gain access to the building, and once the metallic click of the doors unlocking sounds, she yanks open the door, only stopping when she pushes the button on the elevator and has to wait for it.

There’s a sign next to the elevator that indicates what floor it’s on, and right now it is on the eighth floor. Tessa taps her foot anxiously against the beige tile floor of the lobby, thinking about what she’s going to say once she sees Scott.

It hasn’t been very long since she realized her crush, about a week and a half. Suddenly, she doesn’t know if she should tell him yet, despite the fact that she’s sure she likes him, that she thinks about kissing him every time she thinks of him.

She wishes that they had had more time to talk at the bus stop. Scott had started to say something but then the bus came, so they didn’t talk. Haven’t talked at all this weekend, in fact.

Worry grows in her stomach. What if in the time that he’s discovered his feelings for someone else? After all, he still hasn’t answered her text saying that she got home.

_Stop it, that’s ridiculous_ , she chides herself, wondering if it really is. _You just need to talk to him._

The elevator reaches the fourth floor and finally the first, the opening loudly in front of her and letting a few people off. As she pushes the button for the seventh floor, where they live, the doors slide shut and she’s alone.

Tessa sighs and moves her suitcase in a circle to give herself something to do, ignoring the loud sound that it makes, echoing around the small space. She still doesn’t know if she should admit her feelings now or if it’s too soon. Then again, she did avoid him for a week whilst she was trying to deny her feelings, so maybe she should talk to him. The last thing she wants is to ruin their friendship.

As soon as she thinks that, she wishes that she hadn’t. Scott is her best friend, what if he doesn’t feel the same and then she messes everything up by telling him that she wants to be more than friends?

Oh, God.

The elevator lets out on the seventh floor and she makes her way down the hall, pausing briefly at Andrew and Scott’s apartment door. The haste, the need to tell him, that she felt minutes ago has evaporated, and she’s left just feeling nervous.

She can see it play out in her head like a film reel: Her hand reaching out and knocking on the door, waiting for it to open. She wonders if Scott would be the one to open it or if Andrew would and she’d have to awkwardly (but not outrightly) explain why she is here. Either way, soon enough Scott would be standing in front of her, looking as handsome as ever.

Tessa hasn’t even thought of what she would say. Would she just come out and tell him that she likes him, or would she be too nervous and beat around the bush? Give some grand romantic speech or keep it short and sweet?

She shakes her head, deciding that she shouldn’t tell him right now, not until she has a better idea of what to tell him.

This isn’t something she wants to mess up by not knowing what to say. 

The moment she starts walking in the direction of her and Jenny’s apartment, the door in front of her opens.

Scott is standing in the doorway, his back to her as he shouts something to the people inside. She keeps walking, only seeing him out of her peripheral vision, her suitcase rolling loudly behind her.

“Tessa!” she hears him call cheerfully, and she turns around.

A smile instantly appears, and she can’t help but return his hug as he wraps his arms around her. “Hey, how was your weekend?”

“It was good,” he replies over her shoulder, and she giggles as he pulls away. “I missed you though.”

“Yeah.” She suddenly feels distracted and focuses her gaze on the way that the hallway stretches on and on instead of the way that his eyes crinkle at the corners when he smiles at her. “I missed you too!”

“Really?” Scott asks, confusion clear in his voice.

“Of course I did. You’re . . . you’re my best friend, Scott.”

If he notices the way that she stutters, he doesn’t say anything. Or the way that she swallows thickly and studies him.

_Best friend._

She doesn’t want to be best friends with him anymore. She wants to be more than that, and she opens her mouth to tell him so.

Just as the door opens and Kaitlyn emerges with the biggest grin on her face.

“Scott, who are you – Tessa! I didn’t realize that you were back already!” she exclaims, throwing her arms around Tessa, who isn’t expecting it and falls backward, into the wall.

“Oh – hi, Kaitlyn. I was only gone a few days!”

“I know, but so much happened! Andrew proposed, we’re getting married!”

Tessa pulls away from the hug and looks at Scott. She’d forgotten that he told her Andrew was going to propose soon.

He scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, it happened this morning. We’re throwing them a surprise engagement party.”

“Right now!” Kaitlyn chirps, her arm still looped around Tessa’s shoulders. “You should come, it’s so fun!”

“It sounds really nice,” she says, because it does. “I’ll be over in ten minutes, okay? I just have to put all of my clothes away.”

Kaitlyn and Scott nod at her before disappearing back into the apartment. 

Tessa sighs loudly and flops down on her bed, when she reaches her room. Just as she was about to confess her feelings to Scott, Kaitlyn interrupted them. Not that she’s not happy for Kaitlyn and Andrew, because she definitely is, but . . . she just wishes that Kaitlyn had interrupted them a few minutes later.

She’s frustrated because she finally knew what she was going to say to Scott. And she had the courage to do it right then, too.

_Maybe I should write it all down so I don’t forget it_ , she thinks.

She means it as a joke, but then she can picture herself writing her feelings out on a piece of paper, scratching out things that she needs to rephrase, and she’s gone over to her desk and started writing before she even realizes it.

 

_Scott,_

_~~You don’t know this but~~ Life works in mysterious ways. I never realized that before, and I’ve always heard people say it, but I just didn’t know that it could apply to you and me. When we first met, we hated each other. Or, more accurately, I despised you. I don’t really know how you felt about me in the beginning, but I thought you were a jerk and you didn’t care about anyone except for yourself. Your mere presence infuriated me. You would walk into a room, and I would instantly want to leave._

_Then one day, you offered to help me with my psychology homework, and I didn’t really know what would happen after that. ~~I didn’t think that I would have feelings~~ I wasn’t expecting to become such good friends with you. I wasn’t sure what to expect, honestly._

_But the more time I spent with you, I started to realize that you ~~weren’t so bad~~ are so much more than what I had thought. You aren’t a jerk at all, you’re in fact one of the kindest people I have ever met. We became friends once I got over not liking you, and we would watch movies and work on homework together. ~~Of course, that’s something you know already, because you were there.~~_

_And you don’t just care about yourself, you care so much about everyone you meet. Including me, which I’m so, so grateful for._

_You and I got really close really quickly, Scott, and this wasn’t something that I haven’t experienced with someone else. You quickly became my favorite person to hang out with. I wanted to make you laugh and see you beam back at me. I wanted to watch all of the movies with you._

_Suddenly, I found myself wanting to spend every moment with you. I couldn’t (still can’t, if I’m honest) stop thinking about you. You have the ability to make me laugh like no one else does and I feel like I can really be myself around you. I feel like we can be ourselves around each other._

_I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I like you. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I’m not going to be upset, I just hope that you’ll still want to be my friend. This is just me word-vomiting my thoughts onto a piece of notebook paper and not expecting you to read it. You should know that I wanted to tell you this in the hallway just now, but Kaitlyn interrupted us. Not that that’s a bad thing, I’m extremely happy for her and Andrew!_

_It’s unbelievable to me, that this happened. Never in a million years did I think that I would be admitting my feelings for you in a letter, like Lara Jean or Shakespeare. Okay, maybe not Shakespeare. He really has a way with words, eh?_

_Anyway, if someone told me when we first met that this would happen, I would have probably, most definitely, called them crazy. If someone were to tell me that I would give you my heart and ask you to hold on to it, I would have laughed._

_But now, when I walk into a room, I don’t survey it to see if you’re there so that I can leave if I get too irritated. Now, I ~~look for you (God, that sounds creepy)~~ survey the room to see if you’re there because I want you to be. I want to talk to you, to stand by your side and have you introduce me as your girlfriend. I want to press my lips against yours and feel your hands in my hair as you kiss me._

_I would give you the moon if I could, Scott, if only to see your eyes shine as brilliantly as the stars that surround it._

_I wanted to tell you all of this the other night when you walked me to the bus stop. When I looked back at you, I was going to tell you. But then I lost the courage. I didn’t want to just hastily tell you and then leave, that didn’t feel right. I got on the bus and I thought about texting you, but that also didn’t feel right._

_This, writing everything out, it feels right._

_To me, you and I being together feels right._

 

It’s at that moment, as Tessa’s looked up at the wall, her pen lifted in thought, that her door opens.

“Hey, Scott’s at the front door. He said you were going to come over and wasn’t sure if you still were,” Jenny tells her.

Tessa gets up, missing the way that the letter falls off the table and flutters to the ground, and walks to the front door, thanking her roommate on her way out the door.

“Tess, there you are! Are you still coming over?” Scott asks once he sees her, looking concerned.

Wordlessly, she nods and smiles at him, takes his outstretched hand.

The two of them make their way next door, and soon, thoughts of the letter disappear as she congratulates Kaitlyn and Andrew on their engagement.

“Were you nervous?” she asks him.

Scott’s roommate nods, his eyes flickering over to his fiancée, who’s beaming at him. “Oh, yeah. I knew that Kaitlyn wanted to get married since we’ve talked about it, but I had no idea if she would say yes now, because we haven’t finished school yet and that was always the plan.”

“It was perfect, Andrew. And we don’t have to get married until after we graduate,” Kaitlyn replies.

“Hey, Tessa!” Scott calls, and she turns to him. 

He’s standing in the hallway near the door, gesturing for her to come over to him.

“You dropped this on your way out the door,” Jenny says, and once she gets over her initial confusion as to why Jenny is here, she takes the piece of notebook paper that her roommate is handing out to her.

And instantly recognizes it as the letter that she wrote for Scott.

“I thought that since you were going to be with Scott, you would want him to read this. I didn’t look at it or anything, just saw that it’s addressed to him.”

When Tessa doesn’t say anything, hasn’t processed her words yet, Jenny shifts awkwardly from one foot to the other.

“Alright, well, I guess I’ll see you later.”

Once he closes the door behind Jenny, Scott turns to look at her.

“What’s that, T?” His voice is gentle, and she knows that she doesn’t have to hand it over to him, especially since there are multiple things crossed out, but she just . . . wants him to know how she feels, and if he doesn’t feel the same, well, she’ll be okay, because as Jordan said, he’s in his last year and it’s not like she’ll have to see him ever again.

Her heart jumps to her throat as she hands the paper to him with a shaky hand.

Tessa doesn’t want to stand there and watch him read it, so she heads down the hall to the bathroom.

She stares at herself in the mirror and tries not to think about how Scott is reading her letter, even though she handed it to him to read.

Now that he’s reading it, there’s no going back. Besides, she can’t control how he feels.

There’s a loud knock on the door, and Tessa is afraid to open it. She doesn’t know how Scott is going to react, and she nervously gnaws on the inside of her bottom lip as she goes to open it.

It’s not like she can hide away in this bathroom forever, as much as she’s tempted to.

So, she pulls open the door and, as expected, Scott is standing on the other side, her letter in his hand.

“Tess,” he breathes out, leaning down and caressing her cheek.

She meets his eyes and swallows thickly. “Yeah?”

Pure adoration glimmers in his eyes, and his hand stills its caress. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” she answers, looping her arms around his neck.

“Wait!” Tessa stops just before their lips touch and pulls away, putting her hands on his chest to stop him. “Do you feel the same?”

He touches his forehead to hers and laughs quietly. “Of course I do, T. I’m falling in love with you, and I wanted to tell you that on our way to the bus stop, but I just . . . I was going to, had prepared a speech and everything, but I couldn’t. I had no idea how you felt about me, and I was scared to ruin our friendship.”

She nods. “I was scared of that, too. Can I hear your speech?”

“Can I kiss you first?”

Tessa presses her lips to his in response, and their first kiss is everything she imagined it to be, and more. It doesn’t happen quite as it does in all of the romance movies they’ve watched, because her nose bumps his and she murmurs a _sorry_ against his lips.

“What are you sorry for?” Scott whispers.

She doesn’t even remember anymore because she’s rendered speechless. When she tells Scott as much, he grins into the kiss.

Eventually they pull away from each other. 

Tessa is positive that she’s beaming, and a slow smile makes its way onto her face. “So, about that speech?”

His lips quirk up into a smile. “Damn, I was hoping you’d forgotten about that.”

The smile widens. “Nope, I’m still curious.”

That’s when she remembers that they’re standing in the middle of the hallway, and their friends are just out in the living room which is not that far from the bathroom. Scott must too, because he nods towards his bedroom door, a few steps away from where they’re standing.

Tessa nods back and he leads her into his room. They sit side by side on his bed, their hands laced together, and Scott plays with her fingers for a moment before speaking.

“There wasn’t a specific moment that I realized I was falling for you. It was a collection of little moments and when I looked back, suddenly there I was, willing to lay my heart at your feet for you to pick up and hold. That seemed like such a dramatic thing though, and I wasn’t even sure if you wanted that. I didn’t know what you wanted, and then I read your letter. It was clear to me then, and I’m so glad that we’re talking about it. That I get the chance to be more than just your best friend.

“I’m sorry that I don’t have a letter to give you, but it also wouldn’t be the most eloquent. Your words were just . . . God, Tessa, I fell a little more in love with you reading what you had to say. You’re brilliant, and amazing. I just can’t believe we’re here right now, sitting next to each other and talking, communicating about our feelings.”

“You don’t have to write me a letter if you don’t want to,” she tells him, leaning her head against his shoulder. “I didn’t even mean for you to read mine, not at first. And then Jenny brought it over, and I just couldn’t stand not knowing how you felt anymore. But I’m really glad you feel the same, and I promise I’ll hold onto your heart as best I can.”

He presses a kiss to her temple and whispers his next words into her hair. “I won’t let go of your heart, Tess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million thank yous to everyone who has read, given kudos to, or commented this fic. And to those of you who let me bounce my ideas off of you and suggested things to keep me going, I can't thank you enough as well. 
> 
> I'm so happy that all of you have enjoyed this as much as I have, and I can't wait to share what comes next with you.
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed this last chapter!
> 
> See you in the next one. <3


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